True self-help means helping yourself.
It means raising the fingers to the idea of entitlement.
Just about everyone is looking for 'more'.
More __________ (fill in your words).
Our nature is to want more.
So what's the key of getting more of what you want?
It's taking reality based actions (RBA).
What's "Reality Based Action"?
RBA is the idea that we strive to take effective actions,
based on correct premises and assumptions, not flawed thinking.
Zooming out for a moment, one of the BIG ideas in NLP is we
don't interact with the world directly, rather we operate on
the world through our maps or models.
As human beings our brains and nervous systems filter the
world and deletes, generalises and distorts all the time.
It's natures way of creating mental shortcuts and avoiding
being overwhelmed by the billions of pieces of information
that are being hurtled our way at any moment.
Here's the thing…
We mistake our thoughts for reality and act AS IF what and
how we think IS REALITY.
And we do it all the time.
[Even after you think you've 'got this'. Our brains do a
very good job of filtering this key distinction to the back
of your mind.]
Very few people stop to figure out where there perceptions
are inaccurate, ineffective or simply failing to work - in
the pursuit of getting MORE of what they want.
So we have the situation of… the same
frustration/problem/issue happening OVER and OVER again.
Like a bad movie.
But it gets worse - it can last a lifetime when you don't
figure out how your FLAWED perceptions & beliefs are keeping
Getting MORE of what you want, isn't the key to happiness.
If it were the most 'successful' and famous among us would
be the role models for happiness.
But they are not.
To this idea of taking Reality Based Actions (RBAs) we need
to add something else.
The willingness to discover your own truth. And to live it.
Figure out what really fulfills you (not what's being
pushed on you from every facet of culture and society) and
then act in harmony with who you decide you will be.
There's much, much more than can be said on these topics.
For now I just want to open this conversation and leave you
with a few ideas and some useful resources.
The toolset of NLP (particularly the Meta Model and Michael
Breen's Framing Tool) can really help in helping you figure
out what's really going on so you can take better reality
The kind of action that shortcut the path to having more.
Yet even though I whole heartily recommend this training in
these frameworks, even if you don't have any yet, you can
still use the following questions to get you far on your
Take a goal you've been 'sitting on' or not taking much
action and ask yourself the following:
* Do I really want this goal?
* Why do I really want it?
Write your answers down.
Filter out any BS and write whatever comes from your gut.
Now ask yourself:
* Do you want the journey as well?
Every goal, desire, 'MORE' you decide to want has a price.
Are you willing to pay your way forward to it?
Many people are not.
Even less know what the journey really involves.
If you don't know - your first task is to research it.
Speak with people in the know who can give you insight.
You may save yourself hundreds of hours when you discover
- that in fact it's not something you really want (when
you really become aware of what it will cost to get
- discover shortcuts and fast track that can accelerate
you much further along than you would be otherwise.
Assuming you want whatever your 'MORE' goal is.
Ask yourself the modellers question:
What must be so in order for the result to be so?
Followed by fleshing out the desired state - present
state and resources to fill in the big picture of what
it's going to take.
BTW - I've got a very cool process I use to help with this
process. More on that in a future post.
Use the NLP TOTE model to colour in the detail.
The actual first pass strategy you'll follow to achieve what
[Don't know about the TOTE model, you can learn all about it
in issue 1 here.]
By expanding your thinking to consider what
- how this goal will impact other areas of your life
- what resources you'll need to bring it about
- where you are starting from
You'll put yourself FAR AHEAD than most people who go about
'wishing' for their goal/dream/desire to come true.
Remember true self-help means helping yourself.
P.S. One of THE MOST IMPORTANT things you can do with any
goal you are committed to achieving is make sure you keep it
FRONT OF MIND.
That means in addition to all the above question, any time
you go about pursuing a new goal ask yourself:
* How can I keep my goal of XYZ front of mind?
Then setup multiple ways for it to stay front of mind.
This one insight alone can make a dramatic difference to
whether you produce a quality result or not.
Got a question or insight you'd like to share, feel free to comment below.