There are many levels of mastery one can demonstrate with NLP. We could summarize it into three tiers of skill, being able to create change for yourself, being able to crate change in others and being able to create change in large groups of people. Recently I've had a number of emails from NLPers on both the middle east and in the west who have highlighted they have had a challenging changing habitual behaviors .. the story goes much the same
… I have this situation where I am not at control of how I respond ..
… I get angry, annoyed, peeved off when situation x happens
… I've studied NLP often up to Master Prac level
… Yet I still feel stuck and haven't been able to shift my response
Sound familiar? Perhaps you can relate.
Usually over a few email exchanges we quickly identify what is driving and organizing their pattern of behavior and create a change. Something that they may have been triggering them off into all manner of negative states can be changed in a very short period of time. Even more "complex" so called "problems" can be changed rapidly. This is one of the core promises of NLP - that change can be created quickly.
Yet if we are honest with ourselves you know that there are probably several areas where you haven't created the changes that you want, that you have been repeating patterns that don't serve you and you haven't done anything about it. Perhaps you feel you can't.
Rather than going "how do you know?", a better question for this post is "Why not?".
NLP isn't a magic bullet but it does provide us all with phenomenal tools to create change yet there are a few guide rules if you intend to use it to it's maxim and create enduring change.
Let's review some of the core principals to raising your game in 09 and making all manner of great things possible.
Making it practical:
The first requirement for self-change is awareness - in order to change a 'problem' it is neccessary that you are aware in the first place that it there is an emotion-thought-behaviour that isn't serving you. The next step to mastering it as opposed to having it master you is to track it and become aware of where it shows up, what events/activities trigger it and what response it calls up in you.
The second requirement is taking complete responsibility for creating this change and making it happen. Are you owning the responsibility to create the change you want to see in your life? I suspect 99 out of 100 people don't - and the number of us who come to NLP to create change but then farm out the responsibility to someone else to make it happen is mind boggling. Many NLP students take the same approach to learning.
To use an expression, you have to get some "skin in the game". Why should another human being even listen to a darn thing any of us say about our problem if we are not willing to help ourselves and be a malleable to let change happen. Are you? Or are you invested in maintaining the status quo?
The third rule is having a clear outcome for what it is you really want. Sure, putting it through the NLP well formed outcome technique will help greatly, but to get traction you will want to make sure you have a really compelling desired state one that calls you to action. Ideally this would be something that compels you but more often a good jolt of perceived pain will do you more good. You're looking to get yourself moving to getting this resolved.
Fourth, once you have awareness, own the change and have a clear compelling outcome getting strong leverage on yourself is a must. Have you created leverage in your own life to jump start the change?
If you have no compelling feeling to change right now, today then your screwed before you begin. Most people will find it difficult to get it going if there is no juice in the engine. You want your brain just goes "ahh he/she is doing some more of that positive personal development self talk and isn't serious about creating a change - it's business as usual here!"
The fifth principle to live by is once you have all of the above now you can apply all your great NLP techniques and learnings about interrupting the patterns, creating a new pattern of behaviour and using any of the 100 plus NLP techniques that are available and then conditioning the response so that it sticks. But all that detail is for another post.
For now, review the core questions raised here, put them into action when facing an area of our life you want to change and ask yourself "Do I want 2009 to be another groundhog year or will I make it a year of tremendous freedom and fulfillment?
Take some action today.