NLP Training, Techniques & Products for learning NLP

Timing in life is everything. Ten seconds too late and you miss the train that would have got you to work on time. Ten seconds too early and you just walked by that contact or potential partner that could have opened up a whole new world of possibility for you.

Timing and its role in the process of establishing an anchor is widely misunderstood. There are many skills one needs to be competent in to be able to anchor others elegantly. One skill you CANNOT AFFORD TO DO POORLY is having a good sense of timing.

Good timing is key for many aspects of NLP such as being humorous, knowing when to ask that penetrating question, knowing when to pause (for example when presenting or doing a hypnotic induction) to name a few. However most of us have not come from a musical or dance background where your performance lives or dies by the timing you keep.

So how can we get good at this critical skill? Well before we get into that there are a couple of other skills and topics you need to know about.

First off - when anchoring - what you are looking to do is create a FUNCTIONAL Anchor - one that works, can be repeated to produce a specific result. Often this may be a state but it does not need to be.

A lot of folks get tied up in questions like:

- "Should I anchor at the peak",
- "Should I anchor on wave up to the peak"?
- "How do I know if I have an anchor?"

When you realize that anchors are everywhere - that literally you and the people around you are firing anchors off all the time .. and WHAT HAPPENS AFTER AN ANCHOR is fired off?

The other night I was out with a good friend John and his new girlfriend. We were about to enjoy some food in a very popular Thai restaurant. As the waitress started walking us to our table, I could smell many rich aromatic flavors of the pipping hot food in the air. I'm known for being playful by my friends and in seems to be in Irish people's nature to both give and take the mickey out of each other. So a plan spawned….

John had a bad break-up with his ex-girlfriend Liz, which was unfortunate as they both cared a lot for each other. John had been telling me that all the stuff with Liz was all behind him now so I played a trick on him …

As we were mid way through the process of sitting down together I playfully but in a serious and urgent sounding tone said:

"John … I think that is Liz sitting over there .." as I kept my head still, as if being all hush-hush, and motioned my eyes quickly to the left, and gave a little "Yes" nod.

In an INSTANT, my good friend John's state changed RADICALLY. His eye's had defocused, he facial muscles went flat, the color drained from his cheeks.

Immediately when I said "that is Liz over there" he took a RAPID breath in, and started waving his head in a quick darting motions back and forth as he tried to  scan with his eyes for her.

Indeed, the EFFECT of this simple anchor was SO POWERFUL on him that it entirely interrupted the seating process he was in, and he was still standing while the rest of us were now sitting down!

So let's go back over what just happened. There was a lot of things that went on in that short 15 second description of being out at a restaurant.

So as I was saying The first thing to get is TIMING was KEY, as was another component and that is CONTEXT.

The skills and process of anchoring will blow your mind when you really learn, and can actually anchor without any
hesitation and with deliberate and conscious intent.

If I had said the exact same thing to my friend John: if he and I were just out chilling in a bar WITHOUT our respective partners present, the effect would have been significantly less.

The CONTEXT of firing off the anchor when we were in a highly social situation, where his NEW girlfriend was present (who I knew was anxious about the ex-girlfriend) and when Liz was present, in such a small social situation, would make it awkward to avoid an interaction.

Now let's look at my choice of timing.

Timing was KEY for this trigger to go off well: however I didn't have to do any pre-building of the state before hand to get the response. I didn't have to have my friend "go inside and remember a time you felt really bad when going out with Liz .." etc etc.

That would have been complete nonsense and in actuality, would have most likely diffused the sense of shock that firing the anchor (her name in this context) created.

Also it was very intentional and by design that I WAITED until right in the moment when we had started the movement of sitting down before I fired off the anchor. This is similar to doing a handshake interrupt, in that I SUSPECTED that if he had any serious residual emotion there the suggestion of Liz being right "over there" would overload his conscious processes and thereby interrupt what he was doing.

Remember, up until this point, John had been telling me he was all over Liz, and that "all of that" didn't bother him any more.

In essence all of these factors, the restaurant, the new girlfriend present, the fact I said it precisely when
we were literally in the process of sitting down AND said it in a rushed, urgent tone all had the EFFECT of
AMPLIFYING any sense of fear/sacredness or panic that may or may not have been present.

Before I fired the anchor I didn't know if he was going to react in a shocked/mildly panicked way - I had a guess, tested it, and it worked.

So what happened?

Well, as soon as John had somewhat composed himself he turned to me and said "where, where is she?" as he continued to hurriedly look around and scan the restaurant.

At that precise moment I turned and looked at him and … BURST out laughing and said to him "I'm only messing with you.."

Now here is the critical point - particularly if,  as you are reading this you are inside your head going, "that's cool" and you are laughing along or are inside your head going .. "geez that's harsh. How could you?".

You see, right in THAT MOMENT when I laughed and told him, he laughed AND I ANCHORED HIM kinesthetically (slapped my hand on his shoulder and left it there) as HE BEGAN TO RELAX DEEPLY
and SIT DOWN.

Again his state changed RADICALLY as he began to RELAX FULLY and THINK ABOUT what just happened. And he said to me "You bastard, you got me good there…" and we continued to laugh together.

I amplified the laughter state and fired off the anchor several more times for him to relax and laugh WHILE I ever so "innocently" talked about him and Liz and their relationship in a very precise yet normal way … and what it would be like to see her in the future.

This last step was in actuality what the GOAL of my 'trick' was all about. The specific process that occurred in him AFTER I initially shocked him served several purposes:

1. It let John know that I knew he was B.S'ing me about being "over her" which was an important part of the healing process.

2. It demonstrated to himself that there was a lot more "emotionally" going on in him that he wasn't either aware of or facing up to.

3. And most importantly I had, in the space of 90 seconds, helped break an intense and bad anchor for him, and re-trained his brain toward a powerful and positive way to respond when he thought about Liz in the future… all without his conscious awareness. I repeated the process several times to hardware a new response (breath, relax and feel good).

This is what has become known as doing "secret therapy stuff".

This playing with anchors was a thousand times more effective than just "talking about" how he felt etc.

Realize this: When change occurs and sticks, it happens in the body of the person. It's not just in the mind or some conceptual idea of his relationship etc. In order for it to stick and work the change needs to happen at the neurological, chemical and physical level, i.e.  a fancy way of saying in the body.

Am I a miracle worker? Far from it, I just used the process of anchoring the way the technology is meant to be used - for creating more freedom and opportunity for everyone. Everything I did and more, you could do too, once you know how.

So to close out, timing is key. But in truth the whole matter of timing on the "peak", "upward slope" etc is pretty mute.

The only thing to be really concerned with for now is do you have a FUNCTIONAL anchor that will do what you need it to?

Sure, it's nice if you do anchor at the peak but it doesn't matter (in most cases) if what you anchor works and gets you the result you want, which may be to reproduce a given state from an individual 30 seconds from now.

Avoid over complicating the theory - practice noticing when people's states change and when someone is really getting into a given state like say laughter, anger, confidence etc then do something unique and consistent. Even if you're not near them, just click your fingers precisely at the moment when you think the state is intense enough to anchor and you will train your own brain to become more skilled and precise to be able to anchor far more effectively.

If you'd like to learn all the major distinctions on how to anchor like a pro, in 30 days or less athen check out 30 Days to Masterful NLP Anchoring here.

Michael (Breen) and I were invited to a very cool demonstration in London's Movie Museum last week … it was to demonstrate holographic broadcasting. And it's really a very cool technology. The idea is that say a trainer or presenter is in London and wants to deliver a talk, to multiple locations all at the same time AND that he appears to BE in each of the same locations all at the ONE time. Sounds cool doesn't it .. well with the promise of holographic 3D communication makes this possible.

They have even got the technology now, so that a speaker in the host location (in this example London) can see and respond to participants in the sister locations (say New York, Sydney, Tokyo) instantly AS IF they were there, on the stage in those locations.

Richard Branson and several others including the good folks at Cisco Systems have already been playing around with the technology. And the possibilities are impressive. Medical, Military and learning environments are all areas that the creators and investors of this technology are looking in to.

Take this out a few years and perhaps .. you could be enjoying live 3D training with many of the worlds best trainers and speakers all from the comfort of your own home.

Unfortunately the demo I saw and the stuff on the web isn't a great example of what is possible. But the idea is promising. To see examples of this in action, check out the link here. Best video I found to show the technology off was the Cisco one.

It would be kinda cool if you could get trainers from several different disciplines being able to teach, and you interact with them, all from the comfort of your own home. Mind you when it came to exercises, there would certainly be some fun and bring a whole new meaning to spacial anchoring ..

Pictures below are of Michael challenging the Dark Side of the Force with his NLP Jedi and me getting away from R2-D2…

A lot of people who get into NLP believe that getting really good with language is about memorizing countless language patterns.

But you know, that simply ISN'T true. Yes by knowing a few dozen language patterns you can get some level of results, but it still doesn't resolve a bigger problem.

What's that?

Well the Bigger Problem with learning language patterns and NOT UNDERSTANDING what they are doing and why they do or do not work means that you are always tied to memorizing language techniques and not being able to become unconsciously and naturally really
good with language.

Over the coming emails I'm going to talk some more about this and what you really need to do, to get hot with language.

But First …

There is one thing you need to know, and I don't mean conceptually, but something you know in your body as true, and that is:

Words, and they way you sequence and organize the expression of language has a profound on the listener of your language ….

Whether I say to you:

"Orange prison uniforms are cool"

or

"That blindly bright orange prison uniform on that six foot five, mean looking guy over there, to your left, next to the bike shed near the back wall" creates two VERY different experiences for
you. Check it out for yourself in your own experience. What do you notice as different?

Again if we take the example and extend it a bit we have:

"I'm just wondering, you have been learning NLP for some time and from everything that you have done up until now shows that it continues to have some level of interest for you. Yet you don't yet feel you have learnt entirely everything you wanted and because of that you have a sense you would like some things, like your NLP skills perhaps … to be different … much more .. so I'm just wondering how much improvement do you want to do?

Vs.

"Reading this blog post is the beginning of you starting a journey as you are getting into NLP all the ways now and you don't yet know what awaits, but there is a part of you .. that can do so now … because some people when you say this out loud can see that end desired state of how you want to be squarely right in front of them vividly now, others will feel a growing sensation perhaps feeling a that you are going to get really good with language now. Because whatever happens you something has already began to change right now."

Vs.

"You really want to get good at NLP. You've done other stuff before and it hasn't got you fully the results you desire, your hungry to really get good at NLP. You want to be that good, right now. Then you're going to be excited by what is coming down the line."

So which felt best for you?

Were you able to track what IMPACT the different sequence of words had on your mind .. and importantly on your feelings?

Each sample above, did something quite specific and intentional inside the mind-body. And I'm going to start covering this in more detail in the other mails that I send out. But for now, I want you to get that words, and the kind of words you use and the sequence you use them have had a very different impact on your emotions and thoughts. Because what I want you to get if you really LOVE LEARNING LANGUAGE is that the old phrase "It ain't what you say, it's how you say it" is actually quite true when it comes to using language powerfully.

Master Trainer Michael Breen and I cover this in detail on our monthly NLP training program, called the Platinum Audio News Club, which is re-opening its doors next week.

So the first guideline for getting great with language, is notice the IMPACT your language has on yourself and others.

If you are a complete beginner at NLP, then just try asking five different ways of getting something next time your are out with friends. Which one gets you the response you want more of the
time?

If you are more experienced with NLP, then make intentional use of representational sequencing and chunking to figure out the impact your communication has on others. If your up for it play with sentence fragments, switching referential index (i.e. I, you, they) and nomilizations and notice what happens to the people you talk with.

To your increased mastery,
Tom

A collection of interesting quotes I thought you might enjoy. If you ever work hard and don't get the traction you thought or deserve then read the following and enjoy ..

"Destiny is a feeling you have that you know something about yourself nobody else does. The picture you have in your own mind of what you're about will come true". Bob Dylan

"Common sense shows that human life is short-lived and that it is best to make of our brief sojourn on this Earth something that is useful to oneself and others".

Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso, the fourteenth and current Dalai Lama.

"It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all." Edward de Bono

"Where you look has a lot to do with what you find."
Anonymous

"Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labours of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving." Albert Einstein

"We crucify ourselves between two thieves; regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow."

Charles Fulton Oursler ( 1893 - 1952) was an American journalist and writer.

"The moment the slave resolves that he will no longer be a slave, his fetters fall. He frees himself and shows the way to others. Freedom and slavery are mental states". Mahatma Gandhi

"Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill."
WC Fields, US comedian & commentator.

"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk." Doug Larson

"You only live once but if you work it right, once is enough." Joe Louis (1914-1980), world heavyweight champion.

"People don’t seem to realise how often you have to come in second in order to finish first. I’ve never met as winner who hadn’t learned to be a loser."

Jack Nicklaus, one of the most successful professional golfers of all time.

To your happiness and mastery,
Tom.

After getting a lot of queries over the last few months on 'how do I anchor in X situation' and 'how do I break an existing anchor?' and several others, I put together a special free e-course that will teach you the essence of anchoring and provide several techniques and other fun stuff. This is all about getting you to practice anchoring and put it into action. And if you want to get really good in 30 Days or less, then be sure to check out 30 Days To Masterful Anchoring available over here.

In Mastering NLP Anchoring E-Course, you will learn:

• The Real Secrets to Masterful NLP Anchoring
• The Science And Art Of "Stealing" Other People's Anchors
• Being A Social Magnet & The 3 Unbreakable Laws To Anchoring
• "Secret Therapy" & Exactly When Should You Set An Anchor ..
• What To Do When Your Anchor Doesn't Work
• How To Use The Awesome Power Of Anchoring On Yourself
• Anchoring Audience's - What They Don't Teach You In Training's
• Magnetic Persuasion - How To Anchor Others To Your Point Of View
• How to Anchor Women So They Will Remember You …
• And much more cool stuff

So if you want to find out more and receive this information packed course specifically on anchoring, then simply enter your first name and primary email address below.

To your increased mastery,
Tom