NLP Training, Techniques & Products for learning NLP

True self-help means helping yourself.

It means raising the fingers to the idea of entitlement.

Just about everyone is looking for 'more'.

More money.
More freedom.
More happiness.
More __________ (fill in your words).

Our nature is to want more.

So what's the key of getting more of what you want?

It's taking reality based actions (RBA).

What's "Reality Based Action"?

RBA is the idea that we strive to take effective actions,
based on correct premises and assumptions, not flawed thinking.

Zooming out for a moment, one of the BIG ideas in NLP is we
don't interact with the world directly, rather we operate on
the world through our maps or models.

As human beings our brains and nervous systems filter the
world and deletes, generalises and distorts all the time.

It's natures way of creating mental shortcuts and avoiding
being overwhelmed by the billions of pieces of information
that are being hurtled our way at any moment.

Here's the thing…

We mistake our thoughts for reality and act AS IF what and
how we think IS REALITY.

And we do it all the time.

[Even after you think you've 'got this'. Our brains do a
very good job of filtering this key distinction to the back
of your mind.]

Very few people stop to figure out where there perceptions
are inaccurate, ineffective or simply failing to work - in
the pursuit of getting MORE of what they want.

So we have the situation of… the same
frustration/problem/issue happening OVER and OVER again.

Like a bad movie.

But it gets worse - it can last a lifetime when you don't
figure out how your FLAWED perceptions & beliefs are keeping
you stuck.

Getting MORE of what you want, isn't the key to happiness.

If it were the most 'successful' and famous among us would
be the role models for happiness.

But they are not.

To this idea of taking Reality Based Actions (RBAs) we need
to add something else.

The willingness to discover your own truth. And to live it.

Figure out what really fulfills you (not what's being
pushed on you from every facet of culture and society) and
then act in harmony with who you decide you will be.

There's much, much more than can be said on these topics.

For now I just want to open this conversation and leave you
with a few ideas and some useful resources.

Getting Clear(er)

The toolset of NLP (particularly the Meta Model and Michael
Breen's Framing Tool) can really help in helping you figure
out what's really going on so you can take better reality
based actions.

The kind of action that shortcut the path to having more.

Yet even though I whole heartily recommend this training in
these frameworks, even if you don't have any yet, you can
still use the following questions to get you far on your
way.

Take a goal you've been 'sitting on' or not taking much
action and ask yourself the following:

*  Do I really want this goal?
*  Why do I really want it?

Write your answers down.

Filter out any BS and write whatever comes from your gut.

Now ask yourself:

*  Do you want the journey as well?

Every goal, desire, 'MORE' you decide to want has a price.

Are you willing to pay your way forward to it?

Many people are not.
Even less know what the journey really involves.

If you don't know - your first task is to research it.

Speak with people in the know who can give you insight.

You may save yourself hundreds of hours when you discover

- that in fact it's not something you really want (when
you really become aware of what it will cost to get
it.

- discover shortcuts and fast track that can accelerate
you much further along than you would be otherwise.

Assuming you want whatever your 'MORE' goal is.

Ask yourself the modellers question:

What must be so in order for the result to be so?

Followed by fleshing out the desired state - present
state and resources to fill in the big picture of what
it's going to take.

BTW - I've got a very cool process I use to help with this
process. More on that in a future post.

Use the NLP TOTE model to colour in the detail.

The actual first pass strategy you'll follow to achieve what
you want.

[Don't know about the TOTE model, you can learn all about it
in issue 1 here.]

By expanding your thinking to consider what

- how this goal will impact other areas of your life
- what resources you'll need to bring it about
- where you are starting from

You'll put yourself FAR AHEAD than most people who go about
'wishing' for their goal/dream/desire to come true.

Remember true self-help means helping yourself.

Tom

P.S. One of THE MOST IMPORTANT things you can do with any
goal you are committed to achieving is make sure you keep it
FRONT OF MIND.

That means in addition to all the above question, any time
you go about pursuing a new goal ask yourself:

*  How can I keep my goal of XYZ front of mind?

Then setup multiple ways for it to stay front of mind.

This one insight alone can make a dramatic difference to
whether you produce a quality result or not.

Got a question or insight you'd like to share, feel free to comment below.

I really wish for you to have success you desire. However you define it.

I love hearing about people who've made their goals and dreams happen.

Regardless of size, I know they had to overcome challenges.

Pushed beyond limitations. Often conquering significant obstacles.

It's what makes the human race great.

The willingness to set a meaningful ambitious target and not yield.

To stay the course.

To declare to the world this is how things will be.

Then pursue that goal with energy and dedication.

Men and Women around the globe are waking up this morning and doing just that.

Do you count yourself amongst them?

Next time you find yourself pondering or feeling a bit low or are looking from some inspiration.

Look up.

220 miles above the earth is something truly remarkable.

Our planet's International Space Station.

On a clear night you can see it move as a slow moving star across the skyline.

See example below:

Amazing to think that human's are "out there".

Every 92 minutes it orbits the earth. 5,700 trips a year.

Six human beings are up there right now doing something extraordinary.

"Opening the gateway to space… for all humankind."

And BOY do they have some VIEW!

And a beautiful message for all of us.

Watch this awesome time-lapse video from the crew.

It's hard not to be moved or inspired.

Further Up Yonder from Giacomo Sardelli on Vimeo.

Persuasion. Manipulation.

Getting other people to say yes!

Helping others.

Call it what you will…

Persuading others is a key skill to succeeding in life.

There are countless methods and ways we are all influenceable.

However not all methods are universal.

Yet there are six are.

Six tactics that act as universal "shortcuts" and can be used to influence your choices and make you and me more malleable to being persuaded to yes.

Watch the above video to learn more as Robert Cialdini & Steve Martin cover all six universal shortcuts of persuasion.

According to the Journal of Clinical Psychology, approximately
50% of the population makes resolutions each new year.

And other research indicates that 98% of us fail at keeping new
resolutions.

That's right a WHOPPING 98%.

So what's going on and how can you make your new year's resolutions stick?

It's simple, once you get that…

For the vast majority of people, when it comes to making lasting
change, failure is the rule.

Not the exception.

And when most people try to make a change and fail they are
often missing one of 5 enabling factors I call MSKSS.

5 factors that help make your resolutions stick.

Are you?

MSKSS: A Fast Track For Lasting Change

Change can be easy and fast.

Put the following 5 factors to work and you'll dramatically
increase your changes of making your resolutions stick.

1. Motivation - The burning desire to see the change happen.

Your motive to change plays a key role in wiring up any behaviour.

If your motivation is limp or your attitude is already
"defeatist" before you begin, then your nervous system isn't
going to be pushed to create a change.

In essence you want to have strong pleasure for doing or strong
pain linked to not doing the desired change in response.

As you look at your list of resolutions for the year ahead,
choose your top one and assess how strong your motive is to
effect the change?

Is it high?

Or are you "shouding" all over yourself?

If your motivation is low, that's the first thing you'll want to change.

You can find out more about how to do that here.

2. Specificity

Another key reason so many people fail to change is because they
haven't defined the change in specific behavioural terms.

Define the end state in sensory descriptive terms so your brain
has something to lock onto.

For example choose "lose ten pounds of fat by April 1st" rather
than "lose weight".

Assess your resolution statements and goals to determine if they are
truly specific enough or are they abstract and lack something for your
brain to grip onto.

3. Knowledge

When it comes to changing long standing habits most people are blind
to how their behaviour is triggered. In effect what keeps them stuck
is invisibile to them.

Whenever I've investigated why a habit for myself or others
failed to stick, it's often because a key gap in knowledge was
missing.

Knowledge takes many forms but when it comes to changing habits
it includes:

• Self-knowledge
• Process knowledge
• Behavioural knowledge
• Etc

Whenever you are looking to make a new behaviour stick,
first ask yourself:

• HOW do I generate and maintain my current behaviour?

• WHEN, WHERE and under what CONTEXTS do I tend to perform the current behaviour?

• WHAT need is being fulfilled from the current behaviour?

• WHAT do I need to do differently to perform the new behaviour I've chosen?

Take ten minutes to do think these questions through and you
will have a much better understanding of how the current
behaviour is generated and maintained.

That knowledge is power, when you use it.

Write out what contexts you most often get triggered to do the old
behaviour and how the trigger gets set off.

You can then use this information to:

• Design an effective intervention
• Setup the new behaviour
• Leverage existing neural habits you are already conditioned to doing

Do this and you greatly increase your chances of making the desired change
stick.

4. Skills

The scope of some new year resolutions are often broader
than a single behaviour change, something that people often miss.

Most new years resolutions encompass several changes in behaviour.

Yet if you overlook this you significantly decrease your chances of
making the change.

For example the action plan to "lose ten pounds of fat by April
1st" will likely require multiple changes in behaviour around
decision making, food choices, exercise levels, use of free time etc.

In order to be successful, the person seeking to make the change
last (and for it to be effective) will want to define what skills are
needed to do produce the desired outcome.

Many people fail to do this and so trip up when they try to "make
the change" because they don't have the requisite strategies on
board.

When you look at changing a behaviour as a skills exercise, you
can begin to define what "skills" you need to create the desired
result.

• What new skills do I need to develop?
• How can I learn to do this?

5. Structures

As I've mentioned previously when it comes to changing a habit
the habituated triggers you can't see are often the critical factors
that are controlling you.

Triggers can be internal (representations), external
(e.g. dirty clothes on the ground) and are contextual.

For example, if you want to "read 5 books each month" but currently
you have become habituated to watching TV for 7-10 hours
every day, you'll likely continue on that path…
unless you setup new conditions and structures that make
the old way of doing things difficult (painful) or non existent.

For example by restricting or removing your access to the TV.

Taking the battery out of your remote control so you must get up
to change the channel, turn up/down the volume etc.

Situations where your nervous system experiences pain or pleasure are
watched closely by your brain. Your body wires up a change accordingly.

Human beings are impacted and influenced by our environment
(including physical aspects along with social peers).

If you want to be more successful set-up conditions and structures that
promote the desired change in behaviour.

By assessing what structures exist that support the existing
habit and changing these and by setting up new structures that
support the new habits you want to entrain to; you can greatly
increase your chances of being successful.

• What conditions and structures can you setup today for your most important resolutions to increase your chances of success?

In Closing:

Use the MSKSS process to help interrupt existing patterns and
wire up new habits.

When establishing a new habit make sure you link pleasure to
doing it and pain to not doing it.

Remember to celebrate each time you find yourself doing the new behaviour or
following through on your resolutions.

Many coaches struggle and fail.

Nothing new there, right?

However here is something you probably don't know.

There is a growing group of 'high performance coaches' who

earn up to ten thousand pounds (circa $20,000) per session!

Doing what they love and getting paid high fees for it.

Do you think you could learn something useful from them?

I sure did.

I wanted to discover what they know and how they

coach that makes them so successful and able

to charge such vast amounts…

And I'd like for you to be able to learn that too.

In fact, you don't even need to do the hard work.

Like figuring out…

*  What's these ordinary turned 'elite coaches'

do, that allows them to charge so much

*  What do they do that your regular life coach

doesnt that makes all the difference to their results

Because Master Coach and expert NLP modeler Michael Breen has

done the work for you.

To quote Michael...

"I was given a ridiculous amount of money, a research team

and six months to find the best of the best coaches, from

around the world."

by one of the world most respected multinationals to….

• Research 17 of the most well known coaching models

• Shortlist the "best of the best" coaches from around the globe
• And then model them to figure out what makes them exceptional, effective and successful, so these skills could be taught to others.

Well finally the results are in and available for you to learn too.

We've just released it in a new program called:

High Performance Coaching:

The Elite Methods & Practices of High Performing,

High Performance Coaches

High Performance Coaching moves your coaching from 'pretty

good to WOW!'

Guaranteed.

Check out all the full details here.

In my last post I shared the alarming trend news from Google
that shows search interest for life coaching has is
down by 60% over the past eight years while number of
new coaches is up 58%.

Numbers like these should raise more than an eyebrow
when you factor this next fact…

Searches for "Life Coaching Jobs" are up by 400%.

In fact searches for "life coaching jobs" is now the
fastest growing search term worldwide under the
category of "life coaching".

Here's a chart taken from Google that shows the steep
climb since 2008…

Oh. That's not great news.

And it's not the kind of chart you'll find at a life
coaching weekend course.

It's clear that the market is sogged with struggling
life coaches who are desperately trying to find life
coaching jobs.

Competition there is going to be fierce.

Is This The Death Of Life Coaching?

You may be wondering - "Is this the death of life
coaching?"

Honestly, I don't think so. The field is changing and
transforming and those left behind will suffer.

Zooming out for a moment to the larger trends  -
Coaching is now the second fast growing profession in
the world according to Newsweek. So the field itself is
going strong.

However that's the supply side, not the demand side.

On the demand side, we know that search interest for
life coaching is way down and heading south…

The decline in search interest for life coaching is
even more alarming when you factor that the number of
people using the internet between 2004 and 2012 has
more than doubled during this time (817 million online
users in Dec 2004, 2.4 Billion users June 2012, Source
Internet World Stats)

My opinion is there are easier ways to build the
coaching business of your dreams.

Just not as a life coach.

The BIGGEST Shift Is Happening Now

I believe that the biggest shift in life coaching is
already well underway.  In fact it's speeding up.

The shift from old school remedial coaching to
professional performance coaching, also known as high
performance coaching.

High Performance Coaches are coaches who specialize in
working with people who are already doing well, to help
them perform even better.

And the facts back this up.

According to the International Coaching Federation 2012
Global Coaching Report; the most popular coaching
specialization by successful coaching practices that
have been operating for more than 5 years, is business
coaching.

Specifically leadership, executive and organisation
coaching.

Life coaching doesn't get a look in.

Coaching businesses that thrive and grow aren't
generalists; they specialize.

So should you.

But here's the trick… you need to specialize in a
form of coaching where there is a genuine demand for
it.

The Road Of Two Choices:

PreviouslyI outlined the first major roadblock - the
download trend for life coaching.

The graph below outlines the 1st roadblock and the
solution.

This is what I call the road of two choices.

On the left side you see the path that the majority of
coaches take.

Unaware of the download trend and drinking from the
"life coaching course kool-aid" they set up their
practice doing the same as everyone else.

And too often end up like Rob (my lawyer friend turned
wannabe coach), struggling and spending time and money
on all the wrong things.

The smart coach chooses the alternative path.

They successful coach targets the right (meaning the
lucrative) side of the coaching market.

Life coaching was never the lucrative side - (unless
you are on the training delivery side…).

Successful coaches know that not everyone is their
customer and they don't try to be all things to all
people.

They specialize and figure out who they are best placed
to serve.

They choose clients who are most interested in
increasing their performance.

And because they help them get better results - they
can charge much more.

In fact high performing  - performance focused coaches
can and do charge several hundred to thousands of
pounds per coaching session.

As you'll learn next week some charge as much as
£10,000 (over $20,000) per coaching session.

And they get hired and have long list of clients.

Are they tens or hundreds of times better than regular
life coaches?

Not at all.

They just setup conditions so success becomes easier
for them (and their clients).

They've consciously chosen NOT to play the "life coach"
race to the bottom game.

They've learnt the key skills used by high performance
coaches and focused on how to get their business off
the ground.

I'll be talking more about this group in an upcoming
mail.

Roadblock #2: The Employee Mindset

So let's address the second biggest roadblock I've seen
to building a successful coaching practice.

This is universal roadblock to just about any
entrepreneurial practice - having an employee mindset.

The employee mindset will kill your coaching business.

The equation as an employee goes something like this:

"I show up for work, I do my work and expect to get
paid in return."

Time "on the job" = hours worked and money earned.

Even if those hours lead no significant tangible
results for the organisation, as an employee you expect
to get paid.

The focus as an employee is typically on doing what
you've been asked to do. Nothing more.

This works well when you are an employee.

But in business you don't get paid for effort - you
only get paid for creating value for others.

This is a much more demanding bar to live by.

This requires a shift in mindset from working to 'a
clock', to working to create value and drive results.

The issue of employee mindset is further compounded
because as an employee you are used to being part of a
team and having a relatively limited scope of
objectives.

As a business owner - the scope of activities you are
responsible for is vast.

And is the skills needed to do them.

Much more than any one employee will typically have.

Therefore many new coaches buckle under the weight of
handing so many competing demands and only focus on
what they know.

Changing Gears - Becoming A High Performance Coach

Looking at the trend lines, it's fair to say most
remedial coaches have a hard time.

And few courses teach you anything about how to
start-up and build a successful practice.

A high performance coach understands that they need to
focus on improving their own performance as much as
they do with their clients.

They focus on developing their skills in 3 core
areas….

1. Conditioning The Right Mindset

i.e. knowing that outer success shows up with
they condition their brain and nervous system
to have the right mindset to win in business
and excel as a high performance coach

2. Developing Their Coaching Skills

i.e. going far beyond remedial coaching to
mastering the skills of high performing
coaches so they can create "wow" results for
your clients and generate lots of referral
business

3. The Business Of Their Business

i.e. developing the competencies in all the
key activities that make the cash register
ring.

Each business is different and High Performance
Coaches know that without growing this area of
their skill competency they won't be in business
for long.

OK, that's it for today.

This post was longer than usual but I hope you'll agree
if you begin to take up the ideas shared they can save
you a lot of time, heartache and pain, while enabling
you to have the kind of success you want.

Got a comment or question, post it below.