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We're about to enter 2012 and say goodbye forever to 2011. So I wanted to share some ideas and powerful questions to consider in order to make 2012 better and more successful than all the others.

Tony Robbins famously says "Success leaves clues" and it does, but you need to know how to look for them. This is one way.

A lot of time we all get so busy that we forget to spot the clues and track when something we are doing is working and so should do more of it, or when it's clearly not and so it is time to pivot and do something else.

The following questions are designed to help you close out strong on 2011 and set yourself up for a great 2012.

The entire process is built on one of the most overlooked but key areas of getting good with anything - frequent self reflection. When you use a solid reflective process on yourself daily as something which you then use as input to modify your behaviour you can't help but become better.

11 Questions To Change Your Life:

OK - so the first question is:

What went really well in 2011?

What did you accomplish, experience and achieve that was significant to you both personally and professionally.

Write each one down and take a moment to re-experience each and every one. What are you seeing, hearing and feeling as you notice that now?

And you can let those good feelings sink in and celebrate in your mind what a cool, fun, brilliant achievement you made happen or experienced.

Take a bow, because that result you achieved was awesome.

Next…

What didn't go well in 2011? What were your biggest disappointments, frustrations or failures?

List them out.

Notice that regardless of how big or small there were, you are still here and even though it was a result that you didn't want, you are going to benefit from it.

So ask yourself:

What did I learn from that experience?

Again go through each disappointment or perceived failure of 2011 and write out what you learnt from that so you benefit from it.

And remember the objective here is to identify a lesson you can use to take you forward in to 2012, not to use the stuff to make yourself feel bad.

In NLP, a core presupposition we hold is that people make the best choices they can given their map/model of the world. Which means that even if that situation/result sucked and was completely other than what you wanted, your thinking about the situation then, led to your choices being the right thing for you to do at that time.

So rather than feel bad instead become curious about where your map/model of the world is out of sync with the reality of that situation. And update your model of the world!

When you get into the habit of tracking and externalizing your thought process, you will very quickly identify mis-takes that can be corrected and errors avoided and so be way more successful in any area of life.

OK so you've got your big wins and big lessons from 2011, now ask yourself:

What do I need to do differently in each important area of my life in order to get more of what I want?

We are all creatures driven by habit. We all have areas where we are blind to certain habits (good and bad) that are affecting the results we experience.

So take a moment to think through each key area, goal that was important in 2011, review the lessons you've learned and then answer:

  • What do you need to do more of?

  • What do you need to do differently?

  • What should you stop doing altogether?

Write your answers down and take time to properly reflect on each one.

Then setup conditions as you start 2011, so those desired behaviours show up in your life. And you'll be off to a great start.

And if you have a list of goals that you didn't do anything on in 2011 then decide if they are really for you or if they are just old thoughts that you can get rid of. You are not required to pursue or achieve every goal you ever thought of.

Use this time to write out all the things you are not going to be doing in 2012. Think of it as your "stopped doing list". It will clear up a lot of mental energy and kept you focused most on what you want.

Lastly think about what are the top 3 results you want to create in the year ahead. Write them down. Then ask yourself:

What's my most important result I'm committed to in 2012?

Why?

How will my life be better, different when you have achieved this goal/result?

The secret here is to fall in love with the end result and make it so juicily compelling for you that you are unreservedly compelled to take action. The thought of it just calls out from you the desire to move yourself to action.

A lot of the time in personal development people say you need to have huge pictures or tons of adrenaline going in order to get motivated to act, but that's not so. You want to evoke the state of action not feel like you have to force yourself to get motivated. Make sense?

For example, have you ever had an idea you fell in love with?

Like lately perhaps you can think over Xmas if there was that one special gift you REALLY wanted to buy, you know the one, that special thing you couldn't wait to get your hands on, and just the thought of it send your heartbeat racing and you couldn't help yourself from thinking about how wonderful it would be to have and frequently found yourself daydreaming all the ways it would benefit your life and how useful or whatever it would be when you had that special something?

Everybody has got something like that, for guys it might be technology or toys for girls it's often designer bags, fashion or that really beautiful (and expensive!) piece of jewellery. Whatever - the thing is if you have this kind of compelling response where it leads you to take action your brain-body already has an effective strategy onboard in order to motivate yourself to take action… effortlessly.

And that's what you want - to have this number 1 goal/result you are committed to achieve in 2012 be like a big drooling movie that you have GOT TO take action on and when you do you feel great and the more action you take the closer it becomes…

As an NLPer I suggest you use the sub-modality contrast pattern and anchoring to identify and track the clues that made it so compelling and juicy for you and link it to the goal you want to pursue.

There's a lot more that could be said on this but that will give you some ideas for now.

So go write out what you are most compelled to achieve in 2012 and go through the process I outlined.

Lastly…

What is the narrative and perceived limitations you are going to have to give up?

Achieving the things we want can often be easier than we think but people often get trapped inside their story about why they can't have it or don't have all the resources they need. Some crappy internal dialogue rears it's head and instead of saying what that hell and shut up, we listen to it like it was the great Oracle from the sky, that's always right… when it is NOT.

Identify what has been your story or perceived limitation in 2011 and decide to give it up. Even if it is a legitimate significant obstacle you've got to overcome; shift your thinking to overcoming it by some other way rather than giving more energy to the thing you don't want.

In closing…

The thoughts you hold affect your actions - if you've got a bunch of limiting thoughts (also known as limiting beliefs) that cause you to play small or go for less than what you want, then take a moment to jettison that thinking.

There are lots of ways to do this, but one of the most useful is simply challenge ever statement that you hear that negative internal voice make. Become the ultimate skeptic of your critical inner self in areas where you are holding yourself back.

Eventually when you take this approach on a limiting belief it will metaphorically crack and can't stay true anymore. The doubt stacks up and it can't take it anymore. And you as you are doing that start filling in gap with all the ways about how you are capable and able of achieving the things you want.

Science may never prove if we have unlimited potential, but I believe we all certainly have far more potential than what we've expressed so far.

Wishing you a great 2012.
Tom

PS: If you'd like to enjoy learning how to use NLP on yourself to create more of the life you want then…

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I've extended our Xmas sale and am giving a huge 66% off this course for the next 72 hours only.

This course teaches key skills and changes in mindset that will make a HUGE difference to how you experience life and the results you can achieve. It's jammed with key ideas and practical tools to help you master your emotions, plan to succeed, get over limitations and install the core beliefs that are at the heart of the technology.

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Free Persuasion Training (For Everyone)

I've got a VERY cool training audio and details on a persuasion competition for you. The competition prize is valued at over $2,500.

Master Persuasion trainer Kenrick Cleveland has just sent me a 50 minute training on "Installing Your Message & Bypassing Resistance" taken from his Maximum Persuasion live training seminar and I kindly asked if I could share it with you, the valued visitors to NLP Times. He agreed.

Which is great because it is 100% rock-solid persuasion content. And easy to apply.

Inside this training module you will:

  • Learn 3 of the most powerful words in persuasion
  • Hear about Kenrick's early training with Richard Bandler and ending up unexpectedly in a trance… waking up in a empty room… or was it?
  • Discover how this small change in the use of your language can have a huge impact
  • Find out one of Kenrick's recommended processes to set "resistance" aside
  • Learn about how to overload and direct a person's conscious mind and chain suggestions

Click here to download it now.

The BIG Competition

Next after you are done listening go visit the the competition page.

Kenrick is launching an awesome persuasion package on Monday valued over $2,500 and 1 lucky NLP Times winner will get the ENTIRE program for free!

All you have to do is:

Enter your best persuasion language pattern based on using the 3 most powerful words he shares inside this training.

Kenrick is going to be reviewing them on Monday so please enter your submission early.

When you use the power persuasion words he shares inside this training, you'll naturally experience a leap in your persuasive power.

Go grab the download here and enjoy.

Got a question about persuasion or comment on this post, enter it below, I'd love to hear from you.

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Readers of NLP Times have submitted several more questions about NLP. You can submit yours here.

One popular theme has to do with NLP and mind control. In this video I talk about the ideas of NLP, mind control and share several ideas that any parent can learn to help wire up new desired behaviour in your kids.

Got a question or comment, feel free to feedback below.

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BBC 4 have run a 30 minute piece on NLP called "Power to Persuade: The Story of NLP"

Within it journalist William Little interviews Richard Bandler, Michael Carroll and several others with a view of exploring what it is, does it work and questioning the "science" behind it.

The interview (IMHO) doesn't really add much to the story of NLP for anyone who has read an introductory text but it does highlight the increasing drive by some people looking to validate/invalidate its claims.

This isn't the first or last time someone has challenged if "NLP works", "isn't it just pop psychology?" etc. etc. Others have called NLP a cult (see Sects, 'Cults' & Alternative Religions, written by a David V. Barrett).

My experience of learning and using NLP has taught me that the distinctions and meaning someone can make about any subject or experience depends on who is looking, how they are looking at it and what filters they are looking at it from.

NLP isn't a science. It focuses on creating models of excellence in performance - whose worth is measured on usefulness, not whether what we as NLPers describe/presuppose is "true". The ultimate question is - does it get you results? For many people this has been most certainly yes and also at times, no. People aren't robots, so it is unreasonable to expect that it will work for everyone in every context.

Either way, the curiosity and energy of the co-founders that started the field has resulted in many great frameworks, techniques and strategies for achieving all manner of outcomes being created and are widely used in many trainings and professional contexts.

The Research Question:

Research may or may not find 'validity' in the techniques and processes of NLP.

Either way I'll be taking any 'conclusions' under review. Here is why.

Much of what passes as 'research' isn't a solid as you think.

Just because researchers says something is so doesn't necessarily mean it is. All claims to facts of science and research should be appended with "to the best of our (research team's) current knowledge as of this date."

The results of tests vary on who is doing the testing, what is being tested and how it is being measured and reported. When it comes to NLP, a big factor is also who is doing the intervention/change/technique etc.

Of course to be given any serious weight any research should go through the peer review process. Yet a lot of "research" isn't. Even when it is, and assuming that it is an accurate peer review, the conclusions that make headlines are often expressed without the full context on which these conclusions have been reached and therefore can easily mislead.

Bottom line - without looking deeper into the who/what/how the research was done and who by/how it was reviewed - you may want to hold any conclusions at arms length…

Of course it is also worth saying that just because something hasn't been empirically tested or that a piece of research hasn't been peer reviewed doesn't automatically mean that the conclusions aren't sound. Rather it raises concerns about the credibility of the research - and also may be a warning flag that some company or body has an agenda to grind and wants "scientific" research.

Ideology also plays a role. The ideology of the persons doing the testing will influence how they perceive, act, look for answers, formulate hypotheses etc. Researchers are human beings and not devoid of being influenced by their own beliefs, or indeed the social and ideological structures in which they exist.

For years tobacco companies funded scientific research demonstrating that cigarettes did not cause negative health effects. Other companies/organizations are no doubt looking to 'science' to help substantiate the conclusions they want.

Knowing where to look, what to look for and how to look and prove yourself wrong is vital to designing effective research projects. If anyone is involved in that work now, or in the future, or if you know of any good NLP- or neuroscience-related projects happening near you - feel free to let me know.

In the meantime, check out the BBC 4 broadcast here.

[Note: This broadcast is online for 6 more days before they take it down.]

Got a question, opinion or comment - feel free to submit it below.

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Ever wonder how our brains work in everyday life?

As NLPers when we are helping make a change - what we are seeking to do - is train our own or another person's brain and nervous system to change its wiring, to get it to go from preferring "this" to preferring "that". The last fifteen years have seen remarkable progress in our understanding of the brain and its ongoing capacity to change. There is a lot of brilliant research going on in the field of neuroscience and neuroplasticity.

The BBC have just finished a 4 part series on the mysteries of the brain and it covers many cool insights.

In it Professor Barry Smith shares the latest answers on fascinating questions like:

- Why do some people see numbers as coloured?
- Do we have five or twenty-five senses?
- How much of the brain do we need to understand language?
- Do we decide how to act before we know about it?

You can check it out here.

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If you love cool things, music or have a deep curiosity about human nature, then you will want to check this out.

Baba Brinkman is a science rhyming rapper and very talented performer who has recoded a brilliant album called "The Rap Guide to Human Nature".

It's his take (and a very entertaining one) on evolutionary psychology. Think of it as a cool mix between hip hop rap, deep funky tunes and awesome lyrics. It's also a very good guide for the novice or textbook worm on the theories and controversies of evolution psychology. It covers Creationism, Spiritualism, Social Constructivism, Biological Determinism, Evolutionism. Big ideas with strong believers in all camps, so with that kind of line up, it's going to be fun!

Definitely worth checking out and you can listen to it all for free here or decide to buy the album and pay whatever you want for it.

 
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