NLP Training, Techniques & Products for learning NLP

NLP is a brilliant technology for creating personal change. Since its creation in the 1970s there has been no shortage of NLP self-help books.

Popular and recommended ones include Tony Robbins "Unlimited Power", "Awaken The Giant Within" and Dr. Bandler's recent book "Get the life you want". All of these are good and many others also. But not everyone gets "top" results from every NLP book.  So it's a fair question to ask: Does doing NLP by yourself, from a book actually work?

The answer is yes, but it depends on 4 key things:

1. How well the author setup and articulated the procedure to be followed?

If the author did a poor job of articulating the procedure to be followed then it will be more challenging to follow. Not all authors do this well. Not every author is going to be your "cup of tea".

2. Who is doing the "following"? (Their attitude to learning)

Who is doing the following is key. NLP is very much about the study of subjective experience. That's a fancy way of saying how you use your mind and body to create specific results varies from person to person. No two people are exactly alike. If you are the kind of person who has a lot of internal dialogue and you always have to UNDERSTAND something before you are willing to even try something … then you are likely going to have problems using techniques from a book…

Why? Because you will be trying to make what you read "fit" into your understanding of the world and less likely to just DO what the author instructs. Some aspects of NLP, to someone who is very mind and logic driven, may not make much sense, at first. The idea for starters that changing how you use pictures, sounds, feelings etc can have and does have a profound impact can be a bit hard to believe, again at first. We've all been indoctrinated into this idea that change is a slow process and can only happen after you figure out the source of the issue … the why so to speak. And that is just not true.

Also if the person who is trying to apply the instructions is narrating on in their head with stuff like "is this working?", "I don't feel anything different" etc. then what they are doing will be interrupting the very process they are trying to effect.

Think about it, a technique is like a recipe. If you are cooking a meal and, while following the instructions you start adding in other ingredients that are counter productive to the taste, or decide to ignore other ingredients because you don't see the point or don't like it, then the meal you are trying to create isn't going to come out the same as the chef intended. In fact you may have unintentionally screwed the whole thing up all together. Obvious, but people make this mistake all the time.

3. How well you can follow instructions?

How well you can follow instructions is of critical importance. Part of how the processes of NLP work is that they are designed to move a person through an experience - a new or different way of thinking/seeing/feeling etc about a particular situation or problem. Therefore the order of the sequence (i.e. make a picture first, then hear yourself say x, etc) and qualitative aspects (make the picture big, bright, make the audio sound low, muffled, far away etc) have a key role to producing specific effects.

If you don't follow the instructions properly then you aren't going to be able to get the same results.

4. The technique used & outcome being working on…

Finally, the type of  technique or process the author is looking to instruct you through and the outcome you are using it on, also has a big role to play. Some techniques are designed for example to help you overcome trauma, get over a bad childhood etc. And they work really well. However if the experience you are trying to change is still very raw to you and you are trying to use a technique in a book by yourself, with no outside guidance, then your milage with this will vary.

Why? because if you are in the throws of tears at even the thought of X event, then trying to get yourself to follow a set of instructions from a book without first establishing a resource state (example feeling OK) etc is going to be difficult to do.

Also if you select the wrong technique to use on a particular outcome you aren't going to get the result you want. So some knowledge about what technique to use (and combinations of them) is required.

Helpful Tips:

So here are some tips on how to use the techniques of NLP from a book on yourself.

Tip #1: Go with the author's instructions

As much as possible follow exactly as the author instructs and in the order he or she specifies.

Tip #2: Quieten all unnecessary internal dialogue

This means if you are in the habit of self-talking your way through a technique - zip it - doing an NLP technique on yourself is not an intellectual - 'what would Socrates think' kind of moment. After you have done the technique properly, and gotten a result, then if you still want you can go self-reflective on it. But it isn't required.

Tip #3 Cut your cloth to measure

If you are just starting out using NLP with yourself then pick minor incidences and issues or behaviours you want to change. Don't go and pick the most traumatic event of your life as goal number 1. Once you have gotten used to getting results and following the instructions then you can move onward to "bigger" stuff you'd like to change. And choose the right "tool" for the job. Many changes require a certain amount of conditioning so make sure you continue to repeat the process until it sticks.

Tip #4 A book doesn't replace a skilled practitioner

Some stuff like uncontrollable nightmares, rape and self-harming behaviours etc are not the kind of thing I'd recommend you pick up an NLP book for. Go find someone who is properly trained in NLP or a qualified therapist and have them assist you in make the desired changes.

If you would like to learn more about how to use NLP with yourself then check out "Using NLP to create more of the life you want"… here.

Got a question or comment? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Comment box below.

The "power" of NLP is oversold.

I mean if you read some books, hear sound bytes on the magical power of NLP to transform your life and go to many "ra-ra" seminars you'd be forgiven for thinking just show up, hand over big wad of cash and "Life will never be the same…"

Now before you think I'm slating NLP, good folks like Tony Robbins etc. think again.

Is that BS I hear?

Years ago I read an article written by an NLP Trainer that went along the lines of if NLP is so good where is my Ferrari?  And I thought to myself - what a load of BS! (belief systems) (The thought, not the article).

Since I started NLP Times, I get a lot of questions from people all around the world asking all manner of questions, but two of the more popular ones are:

Can someone improve themselves through NLP? or Can NLP help make me a lot of money?

NLP by itself won't help you do sqat!

Because as Richard Bandler once said… NLP isn't a thing. Many folks will try and sell you on the idea that it is, that if you do this, buy that, attend this training then everything in your life that sucks/is unsatisfactory will be transformed.

But more often you know from experience, it won't.

The question is why?

Have we all been swindled? Are there some wicked sales people and marketers pushing us to buy stuff we don't want that they know won't do the trick? Actually, this is surprisingly not the case. Before, that kind of stuff did happen a lot, but now everyone is more switched on to being "manipulated". (Although there are still plenty of folks out there who will try their arm.)

Are the trainers bad? No for the most part I don't think that is true either. Yes there is a big difference sometimes in what various trainers can do and how well they can evoke learning in a student, but most folks who are full time trainers are doing the best they can and take pride in their work.

So where does the response-ability lie?

With us.

With our belief that there is a magic bullet.

With the expectation that money given = results expected… without effort.

Most of us have fallen victim to this pattern at sometime or other (or perhaps still are?)

NLP isn't a panacea.

Nor is hypnosis, EFT, personal development etc. none of them are. None of those fields work in every context, or get the perfect result every time, with everyone.

The truth behind all the promotions anyone does regarding NLP is NLP doesn’t change your life, you do… when you put the graft in to make it work for you. And sometimes that means you need to be persistent, very persistent to get the result you want. (Richard Bandler, Tony Robbins and many others are all great examples of rock solid persistence when they are in the pursuit of something they want).

A good training/product/coach can help expedite the time to get the outcomes you want, give you excellent strategies and knowledge and significantly reduce the pain/time/effort required but it doesn't entirely remove it.

NLP isn't a fix-all, but it is a superb technology for helping with a huge variety of "problems" and can enrich anyone's life when you use it.

You can use it for:

• Changing unwanted feelings
• Changing "limiting" beliefs/thoughts
• Getting over trauma/fears/phobias
• Creating a brighter/better futures
• "Wiring up" new behaviours
• Acquire new skills considerably faster
• Helping others
• Etc. etc.

While NLP has many truly fantastic models, techniques and tools for doing all kinds of great things that isn't the same as saying we have a 'matrix-like' upload function, nor is it the case that it will instantly make everything brilliant/better/good if we don't bother to use it. (Obvious yes, but how many people feel they would like to have better state management but don't use the many ways to influence state we already have?).

So next time you see a training/product or sales person (NLP or anything else in personal development) which says "no work required" or "guaranteed instantaneous results for any outcome". Take a moment to think again and say to yourself:

REALLY?

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Have a thought/opinion/question you'd like to share? All are welcome. Click the "Add your comments" button below.

Figuring out what technique you can use is one of the trickier challenges many NLPers face.  The exact number of techniques vary from over 200 to over ten thousand, according to some sites. So the question becomes how can I decide what to use, when?

The answer to this is easier than most people realize.

Firstly, all of the techniques of NLP are made up of only a handful of core patterns, which have been used over and over in slightly different ways. So there really aren't several hundred, or indeed thousands of entirely unique techniques. Often what is described as a “new technique” is really just a variation or expansion of an old one.

Keeping things simple:

Human beings only have five senses, of which we have two primary modes of using them… internal representations and external representations.

For example with visual sensory system, i.e. stuff you can see, we can either 1) see something external to us (we call that visual external) or we can 2) imagine in our minds seeing something (we call that visual internal). The same applies to each of the other sensory systems. Yes there are some core nuisances to understand about each sensory system (sub-modalities for example) and about how human beings wire things up and create their experience of reality (which is outside the scope of this post but covered in our Platinum Audio News Club), but the reality is there are only a core set of patterns that drive all the techniques.

Asking a different kind of question:

Even if you don’t know yet what these are, how can you decide what technique to use with yourself or others?

Ask yourself this question:
What is the function I am looking for, in order to achieve my desired state?

You see, broadly speaking, all of the work we do with NLP could be described as the process of:

*    Quantifying and qualifying the desired state (DS) followed by the present state (PS)
*    Identifying what resources you need to move from the present state to the desired state
*    Then applying those resources and modifying your approach based on the feedback

So let’s say that you have had some trauma in the past and every time you think of X event you instantly start feeling scared/angry/tearful etc. (PS)

Well, one of the basic rules of thumb in NLP is, if you want to feel something more you associate into it, but when you want to feel something less intensely, it is generally wise to disassociate from it.

So let’s apply that rule of thumb to this situation. If you experienced some trauma and it is still bothering you, but wish it didn’t, you want to feel neutral about it (DS), it is a good idea is to disassociate from it.

So now that we know the function that we want (disassociation), we can pick up any NLP technique book and start scanning for NLP techniques that primarily use the function of dissociation to create the end effect.

A quick scan of any pattern book we find techniques like:

*    The triple dissociation technique
*    The resolving internal conflict pattern
*    The advanced visual squash pattern
*    The dis-identification pattern
*    Change personal history pattern
*    Various time-lining patterns such as the re-imprinting technique
*    Etc. etc

As you can see, there are numerous NLP techniques that function on a pattern of dissociation, which we can leverage for our purpose of un-sticking a traumatic experience.

Get it?

Rather than asking “what technique should I use?” ask yourself “what function am I looking for?”, then use the technique books of NLP to identify patterns that provide that function. Once you have found them start using those techniques on the problem state.

Change Vectors: Giving yourself even more options…

One point worth noting is that the function you choose will be dependent on the description you use, the frame of reference you have created to describe the “problem state”.

Without going into a lot of detail, in NLP we have multiple ways of describing a problem state. Some will be more useful than others in certain situations. Using the example of overcoming a trauma we could describe it reporting on the:

• sensory patterns, e.g. visual representation, associated, very close etc.
• strategy syntax, e.g. Ve -> Vir -> K-
• meta-programs patterns, e.g. associated, past oriented, re-active etc.
• language patterns e.g. every time, always, never (universals), life, freedom, frozen (nomilizations) etc.
• state patterns e.g. anxiety, fear, helplessness etc. which are embodied as rush of energy starting in the pit of their stomach and moving up their throat etc.
• physiology patterns: fast breathing, shortness of breath, off-balance etc.

Here we have six different descriptions we could use to go about transforming the PS to the DS. If you primarily describe it as a sub-modality issue (too much associated) then what function you will use will be different that if you primarily describe it as a strategy problem vs. say a state problem.

In reality you are actually describing the same effect (the traumatic responses) but doing it from different angles. So now you have multiple “change vectors”, to go about transforming the PS.

If we now ask the question “What’s the function?” that will help us move the PS description to the DS, we have many more options… as seen below:

• The sensory patterns – we can use a dissociation pattern, as already outlined above.
• The strategy syntax – prevent the strategy from running or re-engineer the old one
• The Meta Programs patterns – use the Meta Program change pattern to become dissociated, at choice, present time frame oriented
• The language patterns – use the Meta Model and Sleight of Mouth patterns to “bust up” the generalization and way the person is binding their trauma experience
• The state patterns – use kinesthetic swish or “dissociate and spin the feelings” pattern
• The physiology patterns – break their state e.g. get their heart pumping, evoke powerful resource states and collapse the negative anchor.

As you can see there are many vectors you can transform the problem state from. Some will get you further than others, combined you have a very powerful combination of interventions to get you or your clients to results.

Making it practical:

Starting today, start training yourself to ask:

What’s the function that is needed to transform the present state to the desired state?

Once you are clear on the function you are looking for, then use the many NLP techniques, frameworks and tools to get yourself to the desired result.

[This post was taken from our upcoming product called "Using NLP on yourself to create more of the life you want". If you'd like to be notified when this product is out, please ensure you are on our e-newsletter list. You can add yourself via the "Sign-up" box in the upper right hand corner of this page.

Have a question or comment? - we'd love to hear your perspective, feel free to leave a comment below]

Getting good at anything, is for the most part relatively easy, once you know what to do and you do it!

Sequence is everything. You can do the right thing at the wrong time and fall flat on your face, you can do the "wrong thing" at the right time and it works magically. And of course there are many variations in between, but only a few lead to high performing success.

So in this video I've outlined a powerful "meta strategy" for getting good at anything. Success as we say in NLP leaves clues and I've noticed that the following pattern is typically present in every top performer I've studied, in one way or another. Whether you are learning NLP or ballroom dancing, or everything in between, if you put into practice the simple strategy outlined here, you will see dramatic improvement in your results.

Got a question or comment? Leave your thoughts below. If you want to see more NLP videos, check out and subscribe to our YouTube channel here.

In my previous post called "Essential questions…" I talked about the need for any NLPer to become more aware about how people learn. As NLPers we regularly help establish, change or re-engineer certain thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

And the interesting thing is there isn't a magic bullet. But NLP has developed some processes and distinctions that when used by a skilled practitioner, will enable them to typically get better results, much faster than traditional approaches.

There are a lot of skills you need to have under your belt, and some key distinctions about how people learn and change, which we cover in the Platinum Audio News Club. Today I'll cover five major points that any practitioner looking to help wire up a new behaviour or learning experience for others, will want to know.

1. All human behaviour is goal directed, purposive and adaptive.

This means that all behaviour that anyone expresses has some conscious or other-than-conscious goal in mind: that the goal criteria (of how do I know I've achieved it) is detectable through one or more of the five senses.: that the behaviour is in the service of a given outcome and is adaptive for the proposed circumstances one finds oneself operating in.

All of that is a bit of a mouthful, so lets walk through an example. Lets take the current news story of the 33 trapped Chilean miners who were found alive 700M beneath the surface. Their presumed goal is to survive long enough to be freed. As a group, according to press reports, they have organised themselves to stay "unified, organised and motivated to contend with the bizarre conditions of their daily existence". Their behaviour is consistent with the goal of surviving. Their behaviour is adaptive to the conditions they face. After being discovered they are euphoric, as one might expect. Yet after weeks of no contact and finally being discovered, the big risk facing them now is that their state might decend into depression as the reality of having to wait another six months before being freed and being embraced by their loved ones. The Chilean health minister reports that currently five of the 33 miners are "more isolated, they don't want to be on the screen, they are not eating well. I would say depression is the correct word".

From an NLP viewpoint we presume/know that intense feelings don't just arise, that there are typically thoughts (conscious or otherwise) that repeated, affect the states we experience and the emotions we feel.

And what you habituate you get better at (even if that is a feeling you don't want), and if you do it enough times you can reproduce that thought-feeling-behaviour on cue. The five Chilean miners who are showing signs of isolation and not eating etc, may be habituating certain "negative" thoughts focusing on the fact that, although help has arrived, it will still be 180 days before they will be reunited with their families: and in the meantime they are trapped in a dark mine, and have to deal with the current monotony and uncertainty. Living in those  conditions for a week would put many people into a downward state, and the miners will have to face those conditions for nearly 27 weeks, assuming they are reached within the current timetable.

That kind of environment will create a unique and no doubt forever life changing learning experience for each of the miners.

For the professionals whose job it is to monitor and come up with methods to keep their states optimal, for the task ahead, they will need to be clear on what the (sensory specific) goal is, what attitudes, constraints and resources each miner is bringing to the situation, along with an understanding and leveraging of the current group dynamic, and any external resources in service of the goal to ensure they keep their spirits strong. They will also need to ensure that whatever strategies they employ are adaptive to the likely changing mental, physical and emotional circumstances the miners are operating within.

The same process will apply for you when you are looking to set up a learning experience for someone. You will also want to set up the sensory based context (trigger or triggers) that will fire off the desired behaviour that you want when X conditions happens. So if you want to help someone who "always" gets angry you will want to wire it up so that when X trigger occurs - Y behaviour will follow.

2. You need to DRIVE a person through the experience you want them to learn

It's not enough to simply tell someone "what they should do" or indeed give them reasons why they should do it. Putting the person or persons in the right state plays a key role, and if you want a person to quickly pick up a complex skill, you need to drive them through the experience using whatever resources you have at your disposal.

As NLPers, we can rely on many options from telling multiple stories that use powerful affective imagery, to having the person go through the physical experience or part of the experience several times, and every alternative in between. Richard Bandler's story about the guy who thought he was "Jesus Christ" is a good example of putting someone through a powerful learning experience to alter his behaviour, although you don't need to go to that kind of hilarious extreme.

Essentially you need to create multiple embodied reference experiences for the listener to get the skills and distinctions on board.

3. You need to repeat it as many times as needed (multiple instantiations)

Unless you have set up some kind of powerful 'one time learning' experience (intense state evoked and anchored to fear or pleasure) then you will most likely need to repeat the process or chunks of the process several times. Each time you run through the learning process you will have the person further instantiate the strategy they have been learning. Remember the orginal Karate Kid movie?, where Mr Miyagi had Daniel wash and wax his cars?  Here's the narrative…

Miyagi: First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on…
Daniel: Hey, why do I have to…?
Miyagi: Ah ah! Remember deal! No questions!
Daniel: Yeah, but…
Miyagi: Hai! [makes circular gestures with each hand]
Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important. [walks away, still making circular motions with hands]
Miyagi: Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.

Daniel was learning how to block without realising it (an example of unconscious learning) and each time he repeated the wax on, wax off and breathing process he was instantiating the strategy in his entire body, hundreds of times.

4. You must test as you go

If you are teaching someone to establish, change or re-engineer specific thought, feelings or behaviours you need to test at each step in the process that the person has indeed been wired up for the modified/new behaviour. This doesn't mean you ask them if they understand it, you get them to demonstrate it. And you don't always have to have them demonstrate it consciously, you can put them in the context where the "problem state" behaviour/response normally occurs and see what occurs. For example you can look to fire off the trigger for the old problem state and see if they re-access it or if they experience the newly wired up response. Mr. Miyagi tests his work with Daniel by unexpectedly striking him and Daniel instantly blocks. For more information on testing see this article.

5. You must have the person output

If you are to be sure that a person has the desired behaviour/learning wired up then you need to have them output it. Miyagi has Daniel output the skill of blocking over and over in multiple fighting contexts. Outputting is essential. Depending on the scope of what you are having the person learn (i.e. wire up neurologically) then you may want to initially arrange it in contiguous chunks of behaviour, which you can then combine into a sequences.

After a person has instantiated the skill/response enough times, eventually the "scaffolding" of how they learned disappears, and they are only left with the behaviour "hard wired". Think about anything you are really good at. Can you remember exactly when, where and how you learnt each skill and sub-skill component of it?

While there are many other aspects to doing behaviour modification and designing powerful learning experiences, if you apply the above five distinctions and practices you will be far more skilled in helping create changes and powerful learning experiences for yourself and others.

For the adventurous NLPer, looking to learn more, you may want to pay attention to how you can use the patterns of the Meta Model to wire up powerful learning experiences, linguistically. We cover how to do this, and more in our monthly NLP training program here.

Got a question or a comment, feel free to leave a response below.

Ever wonder how some people who have gone through real hardships can be happy, while other people who have had a relatively even ride through life can define their life in negative terms and feel it has been full of unhappiness?. In this video renowned psychologist Daniel Kahneman reveals how our "experiencing selves" and our "remembering selves" perceive happiness differently. Kahneman is famous for co-inventing behavioral economics, the study of human irrationality as it applies to economics and how we make decisions.

As NLPers it has lots of useful insights for us as to how anyone can experience ongoing happiness. Go watch it below - whether you are a coach, therapist or unofficial people helper this video will give you many ideas on how to help yourself and your clients experience more happiness right now.

Making it practical:

So Daniel covered a lot in his presentation - couple of the high points of note were:

"We don't choose between experiences but between memories (and anticipated memories) experiences"

Next time you find yourself feeling an emotion that you describe as unpleasant, especially if you have wanted to shift it but are struggling remember that chances are you won't remember it most likely a few hours or days from now. So let is move through you and fizzle into the abyss.

As Marcus Aurelius Augustus, a former Roman Emperor put it:

"Reflect on the rapidity with which all that exists and is coming to be is swept past us and disappears from sight. For substance is like a river in perpetual flow, and its activities are ever changing, and its causes infinite in their variations, and hardly anything at all stands still: and ever on our side is the immeasurable span of the past and the yawning gulf of the future, in which all things vanish away. Then how is he not a fool who, in the midst of all this, is puffed up with pride, or tormented, or bewails his lot as though his trouble would endure for a great while?"

A great saying and a great example of elegant language usage. Fact is .. whether we are dealing with ourselves or with a client, all we have is the current experienced moment - which Kahneman defines as 3 seconds or so long, with everything else that is going on being a choice we make between memories (which the brain "makes up" and re-presents to us) or anticipated memories.

This brings home another important point - whether you are happy when you think back about your life, the last year or even last month has a lot to do with what and how you are comparing stuff. If you want to help yourself or a client feel better about their life .. then help practice changing 1) what you are comparing yourself, your life to and 2) how you are running that comparison at a representational level.

Become like your very own Michelangelo of your mind. Paint the stuff you would like to feel better about with richer and more intense colors making it truly compelling and satisfying and the stuff you had been comparing yourself to as that of a scene of a non important, nondescript event. The exact coding of this will vary for person to person, so figure out what works well for you. (And if you don't know how to do this, feel free to leave a question below and I'm happy to give you some suggestions.)

"Being happy in your life and being happy about your life, are two very different concepts…"

As NLPers this points first and foremost to our awareness of the affect of language… and being conscious of what presuppositions you are using in your speech when you are communicating with someone. Asking someone "are you happy in your life?" vs. "do you feel happy right now?", vs. "are you happy about your life?" - are all very different questions. Knowing what the likely effect you will create when you ask a question is very important - especially since every question you ask anyone will have the function of directing their consciousness in one way or another and evoke all kinds of associations and with them states.

Kahneman statement also points us to notice how we are accessing our sense of "happiness". Wellbeing and happiness are two different concepts. And if you feel unhappy about something, go in search of some other references you can draw on. Intentionally direct your consciousness.

This process helps illuminate beneath the surface of the statement - "In life, (some) pain is necessary but suffering is optional". As strange as that may sound, even in apparent hardship you can have moment by moment happiness.

Three things influence how the Remembering Self remembers: changes, significant moments and endings

We can think of these things are the markers the "remembering self" uses to track and index what we remember of the millions of moments that we have in a decade.

Embedded in all of that I think there are a couple of other filters that drive what gets remembered - such as first and foremost does the said change affect you? In order to define something as a significant moment, someone had to first label it as "significant" relative to some comparison (perhaps the other events in ones life). As story tellers, anytime we can tell a story that the listener can directly relate to  or see themselves in it, the effect of that story will be much greater than if a person has no connection to it (conscious or otherwise).

The third marker, endings, influence how the Remembering self remembers. This also plays an important role in many contexts from persuasion to creating change to leaving a lasting impression etc. If you want someone else to remember you or some key learning point, then make sure that you do something that is

1) a noticeable change in the status quo that captures the other person's attention

2) significantly changes their state or a long held view on something (ideally for the positive - if you want them to have a positive association to you)

3) had some form of specific instruction or frame of reference included in it that you would like the person to take on board

4) is linked to some form of environmental trigger that you know the person will see/be in the presence of at a later point (so that it triggers them to re-call back or remember that situation with you and everything that went with it)

Learning NLP has always been focused in the doing rather that the theory so have fun applying whatever resonates most for you from this post. If you put into practice the one habit of connecting more consciously with the "experieicnign self" and being more aware and intentional about what gets called back on by the "remembered self" you can literally transcend hardship and experience much greater happiness and moment by moment joy.

Wishing you much happiness in all you do.