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The coaching landscape has changed dramatically in the past eight years and as a life coach, this change has NOT been for the better.

In fact the changes seen in the past eight years are threatening the livelihoods of many.

And the change is far from over.

$150,000 Of Advice For Free

Six months back I was out for dinner at my wife's favourite Japanese restaurant with several of her lawyer friends. My wife's closest friend said:

"Tom, I've got to introduce you to a good friend of mine. He's just quit his job at the law firm and could do with some advice. You work with coaches and do career change stuff… can you have a chat with him?"

Given she was a good friend of my wife I was happy to help. She ushered me over to him.

"Tom, meet Rob. Rob this is the guy I was telling you about… go chat!"

Landed In It

Rob was a very nice guy. Six foot one with a great smile and sallow tanned skin.

As we chatted I found out he had just quit his $150,000 big lawyers job because he was "fed up with my career and wanted a change".

When I asked…

"What do you want to do instead?" he answered:

"I want to be a life coach. I've been on a weekend training and I think I really like it".

It was at that moment my mind hallucinated for a very brief moment… during which I saw

$150,000 rushing out the door and Rob looking dishevelled and shot down. Like he had his pride taken away from him.

When my mind came back into focus I heard Rob share how he'd left his job three months ago and how things had been "harder than he expected".

Rob: "I'm not sure which way to go. I've been thinking of setting up a website and getting some cards."

Me: "OK and how many clients do you have?"

Rob: "Well I've coached a few of my friends.. however (he said looking down) I haven't been paid by any. What do you recommend?"

I felt for Rob and knew what almost certainly awaited if he continued down the path he was on.

I picked up a napkin and drew out the following 3 biggest road blocks. The three things I said every new coach needs to move beyond…

Me: "Rob, here's what weekend and multi-day life coaching courses aren't telling you. Life coaching is a fast track for most to hardship and failure."

Rob: "But coaching is hugely popular, how can you say that?"

Me: "Coaching is really popular - however life coaching is not as popular as you'd think and most coaching courses don't equip you for how to excel in building a business.

Let me show you what's really going on… when you see the evidence for yourself you'll understand why I say that.

The biggest problem for coaches right now is how to get a steady pipeline of clients.

The problem is most new coaches follow what everyone else does - and set themselves up as a life coach. But if you do this Rob, you'll face a very hard time. The main reason is the world is swimming in life coaches right now… in fact according to the International Coaching Federation, there has been a 58% increase in the
number of coaches to an estimated 47,500 coaches and growing.

That's a lot of new coaches.

Plus with the rise of the Internet - there are nearly a million search results online for "Life coaching" which means it's difficult to stand out if you call yourself a life coach.

Oh, and when you check with Google how many people are searing for life coaching worldwide,
you'll find out that search interest for life coaching is DOWN 60% in the past eight years!

So what you actually see is this:

Demand is for life coaching is down but supply is way up.

Competition is tough and too many coaches are fighting for the same market space.

So that's why I say Rob, you are not best served by setting yourself up as a "life coach".

Rob: "So what do you recommend instead, where is
the area for growth?"

Me: "That's a good question. The first thing I'd suggest is you get clear about what you really want and then discover what niche you can best serve. That is the specific group of people who you can best help.

Life coaches tend to get paid the lowest in the industry but there is a group of coaches who can get paid THOUSAND of pounds per session to help their clients. I'd look into being one of those."

Rob: "Thousands?"

Me: "Yep, they are called professional performance coaches and they work with people who are already doing well."

Suddenly our attention was broken when the waiter interrupted to bring the table our bill.

I could see Rob's brain was reaching overload - as he processed everything he had just heard.

Like many coaches he was unaware of the changing trends in life coaching. I knew the message had sunk home.

If you are a life coach (or aspire to be) then these same forces are affecting you.

The question is - how can you stand out in an overcrowded marketplace and win more clients?

There is a way to change and thrive. I'll cover that soon.

Tomorrow I'm going to share key distinctions about the second major roadblock to building a successful coaching practice and introduce what professional performance coaching is all about.

To your success,
Tom

PS: Got a question about coaching you'd like to get some feedback on - submit it here. Or leave your comments below.

PPS: Check out this free MP3 I've had Master Coach Michael Breen record about how to coach yourself.

Mahatma Gandhi once said:

“The power to question is the basis of all human progress.”

However we live in an age where, for the most part self-inquiry and questioning is rarely sought.

24×7 TV, Internet and Social Media keeps your brain "cache" bursting and little time is left for genuine self-reflective thought.

To ask important questions like:

*    What is truly important?

*    What is essential for a well lived life?

*    How can I make the most of my skills and abilities? (to help others - if that is what you want)

And several others.

As students of NLP, the ability to ask good questions to penetrate deeper below the everyday noise is a key skill for genuine happiness and contentment.

When you do this - you notice how mass trance inductions are going on, 24×7 everywhere you turn.

It isn't the case that trance is the exception - IMHO, trance is the rule. Mass unconsciousness is the norm.

Maybe this is what Einstein meant when he said:

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

Technology and 'always on connectedness' has brought many benefits but with it comes many unintended consequences.

The same is true for personal development.

Rather than stop and reflect inwards, the industry for the most part is built around seeking answers outside yourself.

Don't know what to do with your life?

Ask a guru.

Aren't making as much money as you want?

Ask a guru.

Frustrated with your life?

Attend this live 3 day training (with the inference that happiness is just so many Pounds, Dollars or Euros away.)

Genuine experts can help, but happiness is and always has been an inside job.

It's self-initiated. When it's present, it is maintained and generated by you.

You can be your own Guru.

Be Your Own Guru - Challenge The Presumed Thinking

In the past three decades there has been no shortage of best-selling reasons why you haven't got what you want.

They also sound sorta plausible. That's how they catch on. Along with repetition, intensity and mass media.

My Top Six (made up) Reasons Why You Don't Have What You Want:

1. You are putting the wrong energy out into the Universe. I.E. you are not aligned with 'The Secret' and so can't get what you want.

2. You are not being your authentic self

3. You are suffering from conflicting values

4. You are not living in the now

5. You have parts that are conflict

6. Your self-image is incongruent with your desires

If you've been around personal development for some years you've heard some or all of those reasons before.

Perhaps you even believe them about you.

What is the reason you believe you don't have what you want? (Assuming this applies to you)

Whatever answer you give it's almost certainly bound inside some form of story.

And that story, just like the six reasons above are a presumed hypothesis as to why you don't have what you want.

They may or may not serve you.

One thing is certain, believing them has consequences.

For many people, it's another reason they feel frustrated or bad about themselves.

Maybe you've wondered before:

"What is wrong with me?" or

"Why can't I [fill in the blank]?"

Presumed Problem(s) Vs. The NLP Approach

NLP takes a different angle.

It presumes that:

*    You work perfectly.

*    That all human behaviour is purposive or adaptive within some context (even if you can't detect it or not)

*    That every behaviour (even those annoying habits that keep you stuck) has utility and usefulness in some context.

It's focused on a reality based approach. Rather than assuming you are flawed. It starts from the worldview that you make the best choices you can.

That we don't respond to reality but according to our maps and models.

And those maps (and the beliefs you hold) have consequences.

Both intended and unintended ones.

Rather than accepting the status-quo, by using the toolset of NLP such as the Meta Model and Framing tool you can begin to unpack and bust up generalisations (which is what beliefs are) that don't serve you.

To find out more how to do this… Master The Meta Model

Should we trust experts?

People like…

Doctors
Lawyers
Scientists
Financial advisors
Gurus

If you have been practicing NLP for a while you may have tracked the implicit universality in
the statement - the implicit scope… always.

So now the question becomes

Should we [always] trust experts?"

The answer to this becomes obvious once you consider:

*  The map is never the territory and we ALL operate based on maps of the world and not reality itself

Our mind creates a cohesive experience of "reality". Billions of people walk around tricked by their mind that what they think is reality even when it's often not in actuality.

*  The world's information is currently doubling every two years.

Simply put no-one can keep up with all the relevant data that is generated on a
topic. Information is filtered both by our biases and big vested parties whose
profits are affected by our choices.

*  We are all prone to cognitive bias.

We each have our own unique "reality distortion field". We make errors in judgement.
We use mental shortcuts.

Experts do too.

Our conscious mind has very little buffer - and so we chunk and organise data (and in
the process filter what patterns we see.)

We use shortcuts that save time but which are not universal. We seek patterns. We
make stuff up.

We accepts modes as real.

Conclusions are often quickly arrived at and often flawed.

*  As we get older, our brain experiences a natural age-related cognitive decline.

We rely less on our senses and more on abstractions and reference experiences.

The "noise" in our mind goes up - the quality of thinking (without continual stimulus
and training goes down).

*  People make errors. And of course sometimes experts lie.

And of course our memories are reconstructions.

They are not complete truths or reality.

Our brain injects things that were not there. Stuff that never occurred gets wired up outside
of our awareness.

Our memories are fallible. Incredibly so.

And so are your friends, loved ones and clients.

The Big Take Away:

All of this is a useful insight to hold as you use and practice NLP.

Because when you use NLP as an operating system, you begin to realise that we ALL have a much
looser grip of "reality" than we realise or care to admit.

That BS (belief system) you've been telling yourself why you don't have what you want is not
FACT. Yet you have accepted it as such and so it shapes your life.

• Your memory is a figment of your imagination - each memory is a reconstruction.
• Your mind is a metaphorical construct - a tool that can help shape heavens or degrade your life.

And the same is true for everyone we meet.

For many of us; we've lost sight that we treat our thoughts as reality.

We treat our crappy internal dialogue as "truth".

In effect - we unconsciously accept our inner dialogue as the expert within us.

And that expert like all experts can be wrong.

If your mind is at times negatively affecting you - treat it like it is noise.

Presume it is wrong.

Find another way to create whatever it is that you want.

Stay outcome focused and creatively resourceful.

For more useful insight on the fallibility of our memory and minds - check out this TED talk called:

"Why eyewitnesses get it wrong"

For sure experts have their place. They provide a useful function.

Increasingly the mantra "trust but verify" is sounder advice.

Many people suffer from feelings of "failure"…

So when some NLPer comes along and says

There is no such things as failure only feedback

It can feel like a slap in the face, hogwash or some personal development mumbo jumbo.

Yet it doesn't need to be and in fact adopting a "only feedback" mentality can do great things for you.

In this video I answer what you need to do in order to easily adopt this central presupposition of NLP, easily and quickly.

By the way if you have a question you'd like an answer on you can leave it here.

Got some thoughts you'd like to share? Leave a comment, would be great to get your perspective.

Michael Breen and I have recently completed a new teleseminar training on one of the most useful and valuable skills in NLP… being able to create change entirely conversationally (i.e. without the use of overt NLP techniques).

Click on the picture above to find out more.

The fact is many students people have studied sleight of mouth and have learnt about change techniques YET aren't able to use the wonderful tools of NLP easily in NORMAL conversations at work, at home, with your friends or clients.

This training helps address that.

It covers:

So check out this new training resource here.

Michael shares distinctions and advanced NLP material never talked or taught publicly before.

None of us are realists, in the strictest sense of the term.

Sometimes "reality" can seem so crummy that the problem appears to be one of too darn much reality, rather than not "enough reality"!

Yet being aware of how you make decisions and how good a "reality radar" you have is an important life skill.

Because in life you'll always be faced with challenges and having a process to help reduce errors in judgement helps a lot.

Fact: We all (sometimes) make unhelpful shortcuts, we quickly exclude, we suffice, we participate in processes of wishful thinking. The unfortunate truth is reality thinking is something that most of us are not wired up to do but the good news is it can be learned…

Inbuilt Limitations That Reduce Realism

Standing in our way at getting good are a several inbuilt limitations including:

• Being “realistic” is often not welcomed. It feels good to generate ideas, targets or goals and not have to put any consideration into what conditions need to be in order for such goals or targets to work.

• Reality thinking takes effort. We have a finite amount of conscious memory and limited ability to track a anything more than a few variables at once.

• The language we use to describe a situation or solution frames our perception about the topic under discussion often in unhelpful ways

• We suffer from numerous cognitive biases such as being over confident about our abilities and expectations about the future, biased in what “evidence” we gravitate towards, habituated to only seek out supporting evidence and are reluctant to change our minds once we have formed an opinion.

• Most of us are not taught critical thinking skills and innovative problem solving in school and even few of us are well practiced in either.

Benefits of Reality Driven Thinking:

There are many benefits to reality driven thinking which can be summed up as:

• We can know ahead of time and to a good degree of accuracy if specific decisions, projects or choices will lead to the presumed results that we want (and who doesn't want more accuracy in that?)

• We can generate opportunities

Let's look at some examples… on the career front you don’t need to invest 12 months before you figure out that some new company isn’t right for you.

As an entrepreneur or business owner you can identify if there is real opportunity to make money in your new venture or if your existing market you are in is facing structural change. Knowing this can save you time, money and give you an advantage.

But reality based thinking can be applied everywhere and can be learned.

When you apply it systematically to your own behaviour you can make a dramatic difference in just about any area of your life.

How To Become  A Better "Reality-Based Thinker"

Life seems incredibly complex. Yet when we dig beneath the surface of any situation we find it is shaped by causes and effects. Specific conditions need to be present in order for specific results to occur.

An oak tree doesn’t grow to great heights without many variables operating at once. Some things occur in sequence, others simultaneously.

As reality thinkers our goal is to create a sufficiently accurate model about a situation which we can then use to make better decisions, exploit opportunities and change how we would tackle the problem. It’s an iterative process.

Unlike a shoot from the hip and see what works approach, reality thinking places a heavy emphasis on a structured, systematic examination of all keys factors an issues that are driving a situation.

There process involves five steps:

1.     Get clear on what is the decision or question(s) you are trying to solve

-    e.g. How will we make money in this industry?
-    e.g. Are house prices likely to increase or fall?

2.    Structure your analysis

-    Bring order to chaos. Seek to identify what are the likely few major factors that are affecting the issue. Pattern out the key causes that are producing the biggest effects

-     Use one of any number of formal structured analytic tools to organise and track your thinking

3.    Map out the system

-    Identify all the key drivers that are affecting the decision/question in focus

-    Seek out empirical evidence from all relevant sources

-    Make sure you consider both internal realities (e.g. capabilities, knowledge, skills etc) that affect the issue under consideration along with any relevant external realities (e.g. market conditions, regulations, trends etc)

-    Sort your information sources by facts, opinions and guesses

-    Test and re-test your assumptions

4.    Formulate your solution/decision in action based terms

Once you have sorted through what is really driving the issue and got clear on both the internal and external factors and "reality tested" your assumptions it's time to decide what is the best course of action based on what outcome you are looking to create.

What new perspective on the situation do you now have and what does your instinct tell you is the best path forward given the variables in play?

Decide and where relevant create a suitable plan.

5.    Execute your plan of action and review the results

Reality testing is never done with 100% foresight so after you execute your plan make sure to take the time to assess how it performed and what you can learn from it so you can improve your thinking going forward. Often experience will generate insights and "exceptions to the rules" that later become invaluable.

Useful Practice:

While the topic is a vast area in itself to learn I want to share with you a set of powerful questions you can begin to use right away to improve your thinking.

Whenever you are looking to test your assumptions/conclusions ask yourself:

• How do I know [X conclusion]?

• What would have to be true in order for X to be true? Is that really true?

• What other plausible explanations are there?

• What benefits or consequences would have to exist if X cause exists? Do they?

Use these questions to extend your thinking and raise “gaps” in your model of the world so you can reduce errors in your thought process and generate new possibilities for more successful action. It takes practise but it's worth it.

The more you do it, the better you'll become and the faster you'll reap the rewards.