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NLP Goal Realisiation Process

Today’s world is one where speed is often the driving factor of the day. Yet running faster doesn’t necessarily get you to your goal quicker, often too much speed makes achieving the goal harder (because you end up doing the wrong things). Taking time for a “stopping point”, where you deliberately step off the life habits treadmill often pays huge rewards.

Here is are some great questions to ask yourself regularly:

What do you really want from your life and work?

Not what you’d like but what you really want

Write it down.

Going four hours beyond 20 years from now, what would have to be true in order for that life situation to work out exactly as you’ve imagined it?

Write down the key points paying particular attention to the people, places and activities that have occurred to make those outcomes happen.

Take all the time you need for you vividly imagine experiencing that very satisfying life situation. Bring up multiple perfect experiences in your mind. Keep captures ideas and insights onto a pad.

Once you can feel it viscerally in your body, with a sense of certainty and vividness and that these things have occurred, place your awareness back here in the now and ask yourself:

  • What kind of personal attributes did I display that lead to those goals being achieved?
  • What specific actions did I take to make that life happen?
  • What kind of behaviors did I demonstrate that in addition to what I am already doing now?
  • What kind of relationships did I cultivate that made those goals happen?

Then ask yourself:

What’s the very next step to making this happen now?

Then go about making that first action happen.

Repeat the process on daily basis for a week and you will develop greater clarity and sense of certainty about making that satisfying life happen and save yourself alot of time and money thinking that the answers to the really important stuff for your life, lie outside of you.

Got a question, feedback or comment? I’d love to hear your feedback – click the box below.

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In this video I’m going to teach you what embedded commands are, how they work and how to use them now, before we begin you may be familiar with the concepts of your unconscious mind. Perhaps you’ve heard things like it is always listening, taking care of everything that is important for you to go about living your life happily, healthily and so forth. From breathing to digestion, from dreaming to sleeping, your unconscious mind takes care of millions of processes every day.

While your conscious mind is right here listening to me and it’s totally aware of everything that I’m saying. When you have a conversation with yourself, that is your conscious mind at work.

Kinda cool isn’t it.

But here’s the thing – there is no such THING as an unconscious or conscious mind. These are descriptions, they are not empirical but we use the words of conscious and unconscious to describe various processes at work.

So what exactly is an embedded command then?

An embedded command is a form of covert suggestion that as the name suggests is embedded within a larger communication or content.

There were several examples in the introduction to this video I just gave you. But more on that in a moment.

For now, the first thing if you want to get good with embedded commands, it’s easy, realize that there isn’t a some place you are trying to lodge a suggestion – rather you are looking to present your suggestions in a covert or non overt way so a person’s conscious mind doesn’t screw things up. Sometimes it’s better to be overt in your communication and just come out and say something and other times being more subtle helps.

So in the introduction to this video I used several embedded commands, such as:

Embedded commands:

Use them… now… your unconscious… is always listening… living your life healthy, happily… dreaming to sleeping… your unconscious… is … at work

and just a moment ago

get good with embedded commands, it’s easy.

So you see even in this very tight communication it is possible to pack several embedded commands.

Here is ONE process on how to do this:

1. Figure out what it is that you want to say or prime in another person’s mind. Write it out. It could be something like “you are going to enjoy this course” or “learning can happen quickly”

2. Next figure out how what kind of wrapper you are going to use to deliver the embedded commands. In this case I created the context of an introduction and talking about two concepts, within which I embedded my suggestions.

3. Choose your method for marking out the commands or suggestions. There are lots of ways to do this: I chose to change my tempo and reduce my tone when I was marking out my suggestions for your unconscious mind to pick up on.

4. If this is your first time using embedded commands practice delivering the suggestions within your wrapper story with friends and others who are not going to give a hoot if you error.

5. Once you’ve got it down – use it for real and notice how you get on.

That’s it!

How many times do you need to give the suggestion?

One last thing how many times do you need to embed a suggestion in order for it to stick? Good question – remember there isn’t a ‘somewhere deep’ you are looking to stick anything – you are looking to prime and impart a pattern of thoughts on your listener so for some people they may pick up in 3-4 suggestions, for others it may take 10-12 goes. It is going to vary from person to person.

How do you know when they have “got it”?

Because you see a change in their behavior (thoughts, feelings, actions) that indicate what you suggested worked.

OK that’s it for now. Got some cool ways you use embedded commands? Feel free to leave a comment or question below.

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NLP is a wonderful technology for creating change, enabling you to acquire skills and create results quicker than perhaps you thought possible. Over the years there has been a lot of hype and hyperbole spread that NLP is a magic bullet that works flawlessly and in every context with every individual. Many folks would like it to be just that: but it isn’t and if you want to get good with NLP then rid yourself of any idea that NLP is fast money, instant success, magic result.

Here is a short video I created answering the “is NLP a magic bullet?” question that so many people think it is.

NLP is meant to be applied elsewhere:

NLP is a toolset you can apply to other disciplines. This is what folks who get good with the technology do. They take what they learn and apply the technology and processes of NLP elsewhere.

Where will you apply it today?

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NLP is a brilliant technology for creating personal change. Since its creation in the 1970s there has been no shortage of NLP self-help books.

Popular and recommended ones include Tony Robbins “Unlimited Power”, “Awaken The Giant Within” and Dr. Bandler’s recent book “Get the life you want”. All of these are good and many others also. But not everyone gets “top” results from every NLP book. So it’s a fair question to ask: Does doing NLP by yourself, from a book actually work?

The answer is yes, but it depends on 4 key things:

1. How well the author setup and articulated the procedure to be followed?

If the author did a poor job of articulating the procedure to be followed then it will be more challenging to follow. Not all authors do this well. Not every author is going to be your “cup of tea”.

2. Who is doing the “following”? (Their attitude to learning)

Who is doing the following is key. NLP is very much about the study of subjective experience. That’s a fancy way of saying how you use your mind and body to create specific results varies from person to person. No two people are exactly alike. If you are the kind of person who has a lot of internal dialogue and you always have to UNDERSTAND something before you are willing to even try something … then you are likely going to have problems using techniques from a book…

Why? Because you will be trying to make what you read “fit” into your understanding of the world and less likely to just DO what the author instructs. Some aspects of NLP, to someone who is very mind and logic driven, may not make much sense, at first. The idea for starters that changing how you use pictures, sounds, feelings etc can have and does have a profound impact can be a bit hard to believe, again at first. We’ve all been indoctrinated into this idea that change is a slow process and can only happen after you figure out the source of the issue … the why so to speak. And that is just not true.

Also if the person who is trying to apply the instructions is narrating on in their head with stuff like “is this working?”, “I don’t feel anything different” etc. then what they are doing will be interrupting the very process they are trying to effect.

Think about it, a technique is like a recipe. If you are cooking a meal and, while following the instructions you start adding in other ingredients that are counter productive to the taste, or decide to ignore other ingredients because you don’t see the point or don’t like it, then the meal you are trying to create isn’t going to come out the same as the chef intended. In fact you may have unintentionally screwed the whole thing up all together. Obvious, but people make this mistake all the time.

3. How well you can follow instructions?

How well you can follow instructions is of critical importance. Part of how the processes of NLP work is that they are designed to move a person through an experience – a new or different way of thinking/seeing/feeling etc about a particular situation or problem. Therefore the order of the sequence (i.e. make a picture first, then hear yourself say x, etc) and qualitative aspects (make the picture big, bright, make the audio sound low, muffled, far away etc) have a key role to producing specific effects.

If you don’t follow the instructions properly then you aren’t going to be able to get the same results.

4. The technique used & outcome being working on…

Finally, the type of technique or process the author is looking to instruct you through and the outcome you are using it on, also has a big role to play. Some techniques are designed for example to help you overcome trauma, get over a bad childhood etc. And they work really well. However if the experience you are trying to change is still very raw to you and you are trying to use a technique in a book by yourself, with no outside guidance, then your milage with this will vary.

Why? because if you are in the throws of tears at even the thought of X event, then trying to get yourself to follow a set of instructions from a book without first establishing a resource state (example feeling OK) etc is going to be difficult to do.

Also if you select the wrong technique to use on a particular outcome you aren’t going to get the result you want. So some knowledge about what technique to use (and combinations of them) is required.

Helpful Tips:

So here are some tips on how to use the techniques of NLP from a book on yourself.

Tip #1: Go with the author’s instructions

As much as possible follow exactly as the author instructs and in the order he or she specifies.

Tip #2: Quieten all unnecessary internal dialogue

This means if you are in the habit of self-talking your way through a technique – zip it – doing an NLP technique on yourself is not an intellectual – ‘what would Socrates think’ kind of moment. After you have done the technique properly, and gotten a result, then if you still want you can go self-reflective on it. But it isn’t required.

Tip #3 Cut your cloth to measure

If you are just starting out using NLP with yourself then pick minor incidences and issues or behaviours you want to change. Don’t go and pick the most traumatic event of your life as goal number 1. Once you have gotten used to getting results and following the instructions then you can move onward to “bigger” stuff you’d like to change. And choose the right “tool” for the job. Many changes require a certain amount of conditioning so make sure you continue to repeat the process until it sticks.

Tip #4 A book doesn’t replace a skilled practitioner

Some stuff like uncontrollable nightmares, rape and self-harming behaviours etc are not the kind of thing I’d recommend you pick up an NLP book for. Go find someone who is properly trained in NLP or a qualified therapist and have them assist you in make the desired changes.

If you would like to learn more about how to use NLP with yourself then check out “Using NLP to create more of the life you want”… here.

Got a question or comment? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment box below.

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The “power” of NLP is oversold.

I mean if you read some books, hear sound bytes on the magical power of NLP to transform your life and go to many “ra-ra” seminars you’d be forgiven for thinking just show up, hand over big wad of cash and “Life will never be the same…”

Now before you think I’m slating NLP, good folks like Tony Robbins etc. think again.

Is that BS I hear?

Years ago I read an article written by an NLP Trainer that went along the lines of if NLP is so good where is my Ferrari? And I thought to myself – what a load of BS! (belief systems) (The thought, not the article).

Since I started NLP Times, I get a lot of questions from people all around the world asking all manner of questions, but two of the more popular ones are:

Can someone improve themselves through NLP? or Can NLP help make me a lot of money?

NLP by itself won’t help you do sqat!

Because as Richard Bandler once said… NLP isn’t a thing. Many folks will try and sell you on the idea that it is, that if you do this, buy that, attend this training then everything in your life that sucks/is unsatisfactory will be transformed.

But more often you know from experience, it won’t.

The question is why?

Have we all been swindled? Are there some wicked sales people and marketers pushing us to buy stuff we don’t want that they know won’t do the trick? Actually, this is surprisingly not the case. Before, that kind of stuff did happen a lot, but now everyone is more switched on to being “manipulated”. (Although there are still plenty of folks out there who will try their arm.)

Are the trainers bad? No for the most part I don’t think that is true either. Yes there is a big difference sometimes in what various trainers can do and how well they can evoke learning in a student, but most folks who are full time trainers are doing the best they can and take pride in their work.

So where does the response-ability lie?

With us.

With our belief that there is a magic bullet.

With the expectation that money given = results expected… without effort.

Most of us have fallen victim to this pattern at sometime or other (or perhaps still are?)

NLP isn’t a panacea.

Nor is hypnosis, EFT, personal development etc. none of them are. None of those fields work in every context, or get the perfect result every time, with everyone.

The truth behind all the promotions anyone does regarding NLP is NLP doesn’t change your life, you do… when you put the graft in to make it work for you. And sometimes that means you need to be persistent, very persistent to get the result you want. (Richard Bandler, Tony Robbins and many others are all great examples of rock solid persistence when they are in the pursuit of something they want).

A good training/product/coach can help expedite the time to get the outcomes you want, give you excellent strategies and knowledge and significantly reduce the pain/time/effort required but it doesn’t entirely remove it.

NLP isn’t a fix-all, but it is a superb technology for helping with a huge variety of “problems” and can enrich anyone’s life when you use it.

You can use it for:

  • Changing unwanted feelings
  • Changing “limiting” beliefs/thoughts
  • Getting over trauma/fears/phobias
  • Creating a brighter/better futures
  • “Wiring up” new behaviours
  • Acquire new skills considerably faster
  • Helping others
  • Etc. etc.

While NLP has many truly fantastic models, techniques and tools for doing all kinds of great things that isn’t the same as saying we have a ‘matrix-like’ upload function, nor is it the case that it will instantly make everything brilliant/better/good if we don’t bother to use it. (Obvious yes, but how many people feel they would like to have better state management but don’t use the many ways to influence state we already have?).

So next time you see a training/product or sales person (NLP or anything else in personal development) which says “no work required” or “guaranteed instantaneous results for any outcome”. Take a moment to think again and say to yourself:



Have a thought/opinion/question you’d like to share? All are welcome. Click the “Add your comments” button below.

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Figuring out what technique you can use is one of the trickier challenges many NLPers face. The exact number of techniques vary from over 200 to over ten thousand, according to some sites. So the question becomes how can I decide what to use, when?

The answer to this is easier than most people realize.

Firstly, all of the techniques of NLP are made up of only a handful of core patterns, which have been used over and over in slightly different ways. So there really aren’t several hundred, or indeed thousands of entirely unique techniques. Often what is described as a “new technique” is really just a variation or expansion of an old one.

Keeping things simple:

Human beings only have five senses, of which we have two primary modes of using them… internal representations and external representations.

For example with visual sensory system, i.e. stuff you can see, we can either 1) see something external to us (we call that visual external) or we can 2) imagine in our minds seeing something (we call that visual internal). The same applies to each of the other sensory systems. Yes there are some core nuisances to understand about each sensory system (sub-modalities for example) and about how human beings wire things up and create their experience of reality (which is outside the scope of this post but covered in our Platinum Audio News Club), but the reality is there are only a core set of patterns that drive all the techniques.

Asking a different kind of question:

Even if you don’t know yet what these are, how can you decide what technique to use with yourself or others?

Ask yourself this question:
What is the function I am looking for, in order to achieve my desired state?

You see, broadly speaking, all of the work we do with NLP could be described as the process of:

* Quantifying and qualifying the desired state (DS) followed by the present state (PS)
* Identifying what resources you need to move from the present state to the desired state
* Then applying those resources and modifying your approach based on the feedback

So let’s say that you have had some trauma in the past and every time you think of X event you instantly start feeling scared/angry/tearful etc. (PS)

Well, one of the basic rules of thumb in NLP is, if you want to feel something more you associate into it, but when you want to feel something less intensely, it is generally wise to disassociate from it.

So let’s apply that rule of thumb to this situation. If you experienced some trauma and it is still bothering you, but wish it didn’t, you want to feel neutral about it (DS), it is a good idea is to disassociate from it.

So now that we know the function that we want (disassociation), we can pick up any NLP technique book and start scanning for NLP techniques that primarily use the function of dissociation to create the end effect.

A quick scan of any pattern book we find techniques like:

* The triple dissociation technique
* The resolving internal conflict pattern
* The advanced visual squash pattern
* The dis-identification pattern
* Change personal history pattern
* Various time-lining patterns such as the re-imprinting technique
* Etc. etc

As you can see, there are numerous NLP techniques that function on a pattern of dissociation, which we can leverage for our purpose of un-sticking a traumatic experience.

Get it?

Rather than asking “what technique should I use?” ask yourself “what function am I looking for?”, then use the technique books of NLP to identify patterns that provide that function. Once you have found them start using those techniques on the problem state.

Change Vectors: Giving yourself even more options…

One point worth noting is that the function you choose will be dependent on the description you use, the frame of reference you have created to describe the “problem state”.

Without going into a lot of detail, in NLP we have multiple ways of describing a problem state. Some will be more useful than others in certain situations. Using the example of overcoming a trauma we could describe it reporting on the:

  • sensory patterns, e.g. visual representation, associated, very close etc.
  • strategy syntax, e.g. Ve -> Vir -> K-
  • meta-programs patterns, e.g. associated, past oriented, re-active etc.
  • language patterns e.g. every time, always, never (universals), life, freedom, frozen (nomilizations) etc.
  • state patterns e.g. anxiety, fear, helplessness etc. which are embodied as rush of energy starting in the pit of their stomach and moving up their throat etc.
  • physiology patterns: fast breathing, shortness of breath, off-balance etc.

Here we have six different descriptions we could use to go about transforming the PS to the DS. If you primarily describe it as a sub-modality issue (too much associated) then what function you will use will be different that if you primarily describe it as a strategy problem vs. say a state problem.

In reality you are actually describing the same effect (the traumatic responses) but doing it from different angles. So now you have multiple “change vectors”, to go about transforming the PS.

If we now ask the question “What’s the function?” that will help us move the PS description to the DS, we have many more options… as seen below:

  • The sensory patterns – we can use a dissociation pattern, as already outlined above.
  • The strategy syntax – prevent the strategy from running or re-engineer the old one
  • The Meta Programs patterns – use the Meta Program change pattern to become dissociated, at choice, present time frame oriented
  • The language patterns – use the Meta Model and Sleight of Mouth patterns to “bust up” the generalization and way the person is binding their trauma experience
  • The state patterns – use kinesthetic swish or “dissociate and spin the feelings” pattern
  • The physiology patterns – break their state e.g. get their heart pumping, evoke powerful resource states and collapse the negative anchor.

As you can see there are many vectors you can transform the problem state from. Some will get you further than others, combined you have a very powerful combination of interventions to get you or your clients to results.

Making it practical:

Starting today, start training yourself to ask:

What’s the function that is needed to transform the present state to the desired state?

Once you are clear on the function you are looking for, then use the many NLP techniques, frameworks and tools to get yourself to the desired result.

[This post was taken from our upcoming product called “Using NLP on yourself to create more of the life you want”. If you’d like to be notified when this product is out, please ensure you are on our e-newsletter list. You can add yourself via the “Sign-up” box in the upper right hand corner of this page.

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